Over the next bunch of orbits I was absolutely card dead. I won the blinds once raising from the button with pocket sixes but that’s about it. I was being not so slowly being blinded off without there being much of anything I could do about it. Amazingly I still snuck onto the final table sitting about 6^th in chips but with a pretty massive jump in stack size above me.

The shortest stack at the final table was the Scandi. He had barely more than a BB and consequently went out shortly after the first final table hand. Once he was gone the only player other than the chipleader at the table I recognized was the ice queen, now sitting to my left. On her left was a guy with a Stephen Fry avatar, then the chipleader who had 3x the next closest player. Next up was a dude called Smoky, a girl(?) using a Britney Spears avatar, a guy named Jésus and a guy who appeared to be a Gus Hansen Wannabe (GHW.) Britney and I were the short stacks with everyone else but the CL being at about level pegging.

I knew I had to make a move on the first decent hand I saw. I finally saw pocket nines as the table folded around to Brit. She pushed all in, the GHW called her and with little choice I pushed as well. We flipped em: (click for more)

Me: 9c-9d

Brit: Qc-Jh

GHW: Ac-9h

I swore… Obviously I was tenuously in the lead, but Gussy had one of my 9s and that was a lot of over cards. The flop came out: 5c-6c-Kd The first hurdle was passed, but my stomach was clenched as we waited for the turn. The Kc hit next which gave them both a flush draw, but kept me in the lead, just. My prayers to the poker gods paid dividends as the Kh hit on the river and gave me an unlikely Full House. One of the other players swore, his K-rag having suddenly become folded Quads.

Newly tripled up I was sadly still short stack, but I was at least in the ballpark of the middle pack now with seven players remaining. After that hand the pace picked up a fair bit and I actually got to tangle in a few hands, climbing up to the point where I was in a virtual tie with GHW and Stephen Fry.

Things were definitely going better, but the mood at the table got a lot more mercenary. Gone were the jokes from earlier and even the NH’s were few and far between. You definitely got the feeling that these people were hungry to win this thing. (Later the chip leader and smoky would tell us that they were in a prop bet with a few others to see who could win the most tournaments of this type in a week) I definitely prefer tables that are more animated and fun. In playing online you already lose the ability to see and read body language, losing any semblance of a real world table atmosphere makes it even worse. Playing in absolute silence as though this was a 50k grand final instead of a $20 tournament just makes things boring.

Things were decided not boring a few hands later when I called from the button with a Qc-Jc and the flop came out Qc-3h-4h. Fry checked before Smoky tossed out a sizable bet. It was small enough that I had to call, but given his earlier play I figured he might have a high pocket pair. Fry called as well, though hesitantly.

The turn was an Ace of Diamonds and I got a bit worried. Smoky bet the pot and I thought for a minute before folding, 95% sure I was beaten. Fry called, more quickly this time and we had a showdown between people I was convinced were holding aces. The river came out 5h and now we had a flush possibility as well. Smoky didn’t show any hesitation and pushed in about 1/3 of his remaining stack. Fry immediately pushed all in (he had Smoky covered), it was so quick that you just knew Smoky was a goner. He tanked for a moment as I thought back over the hand and Fry’s betting and just as I realized what he had, Smoky called…

Sure enough, Fry showed Ah-2h for wheel straight flush and even over the computer you could feel Smoky’s jaw drop before he showed trip aces and exited the tournament. He lingered in chat for a bit and to his credit congratulated Fry for blindsiding him. I was just finding myself really really glad that the Qh hadn’t hit on the turn or I might have been the one out instead.

A few hands later Jésus was gone too, victim of a higher kicker on two matched pairs with the IQ. Chips were starting to be distributed a bit more regularly, though the Ice Queen remained the only one anywhere near the chip leader’s total. The blind schedule was also making things a bit more intense as we went over the usual time required for these tourneys. I was happy to still be kicking around as another break hit and took the chance to grab a drink and chips to see me through to the end.

I needn’t have bothered.

The first hand after the break I had Ac-Ad and pushed in a healthy bet. The ice queen snap called and we had a few folds before the GHW joined the fray as well, pushing all in at about double my bet. At that point I pretty much had to All-in as well if I was going to call so I pushed and the IQ called.

We all showed…

Me: Ac-Ad

IQ: Kd-8d

GHW: Jc-Jh

Things looked good after the flop came out Ah-Jd-9c and I tempted fate by actually checking where a triple up would put me…

The turn came, 10c… then the river Qc and I was out on a terrible, terrible rivered 4 card straight. The Ice Queen was apologetic and said “I had no business even calling there, I’m sorry guys, mega suck out.” I had to agree, even though I’d had an ok payday finishing in 4^th, losing that way was a kick in the teeth. At least it gave her the chips to be in a virtual tie with the somewhat douchey chipleader. Indeed, I threw in a movie and kept an eye on the table and about 45 minutes later she won the tournament from him in a fairly entertaining heads-up battle.

Still, despite the lack of a happy ending it was a pretty fun tournament. I played fairly well despite having some rust on my game and I saw some fairly epic hands. Unless you’re a pro, you should always be satisfied with being entertained when you play poker and I’m just happy that my win will cover playing a few more tournaments over the rest of the summer.

Things were less pleasant as the action continued. The best hand I saw in the next few orbits was a pair of snowmen out of position in a hand that the Eurodonk managed to double up on. At the same time, the Ice Queen was showing why I’d feared her as she snapped up a couple massive pots. She managed to bust one of the more annoying players at the table (a guy that tanked on calls so often you’d think he was timing out) and seriously crippled another

The next time I played a hand, I was in the Big Blind again. Action folded around to the loudmouth (unsurprisingly with a Jersey location) and he 3x-bet, the ice queen folded and the Eurodonk pushed all in for not quite a 3x bet as well. My cards were not amazing (10d-8d) but the loudmouth had been caught once before trying to bluff with nothing after things had been folded around to him. I called with a smile. (read on after the break)

The flop came out 10s-2d-8c for a quick two pair. I certainly didn’t think he had a pocket pair and was pretty sure I was best. At the same time, I didn’t think he’d fold as he probably wanted to finish off the donk. I made a healthy bet and sent the action to him. His reply was… confusing. He pushed in about 4 times my bet… it so completely smelled of a bluff to try to push me out that I would have called even without top two pair. I pushed all in…

He tanked forever, using up most of his time bank before folding. In my opinion he was committed and should have pushed even if it was a bluff, but no matter.

The donk had a K-5 and got no help from the turn or the river and was out. The moment my cards were revealed he started railing in chat about what a bad player I was to call his initial bet with a 10-8 suited and what a luckbox I was etc… I simply replied A: I was BB and had money in already and B: you’ve bluffed several times in that situation. Don’t blame me if you’re predictable and I pay better attention to the table than you do. He managed to get in a retort of “fuck you queer” (apparently winning and having a smurf avatar makes me gay?) before the Ice Queen chimed in with…”and C: Your play has been looser than my sister” Predictably that set him off on a swear fest while the rest of the table erupted in laughter. He was hard tilted now and only lasted another half orbit, finally pushing all in and losing to the Ice Queen in a hand that erupted in a further burst of profanity and probably a bunch of reports.

Players still seemed to be dropping on other tables at a much faster rate than ours. It took another two orbits before we lost our next player, the scandi taking out Luigi (so called because he was wearing green in his pic and was sitting next to Mario) before we were broken up a few hands later. At our new table the Ice Queen was thankfully absent, but I still had the Scandi in position on me. The only other player at the table that I’d noted before simply said “solid” which was incredibly vague (thanks a lot past me.) I tightened up for a few orbits as the fast pace continued, taking a small hit when I folded big slick facing an all in on a very hostile board.

A few hands later I found KsKc on the button. There was a lot of action on the hand and we finally saw the flop 5 handed. Ad-Kh-8s, first and second to act both came out swinging with a big bet and a reraise doubling it. The scandi folded before the guy on my right called after sweating for a bit. I have to admit I was a little worried, but I could also very easily see these guys just each having Ax-8x and they both had stacks much smaller than mine. 9h came out on the turn. They were a bit slower this time, but it followed the same bet-raise-call pattern before I called as well. Thankfully there was no chance of a flush suck out when a 2d came on the river.

This time first to act checked, the guy on his left pushed all in with what he had left and got two calls. Incredibly the first to act folded after all of this, having pushed in a ton of money on a flush/straight draw I guess? When the second guy flipped his cards it turned out he had pocket 8s, the guy on my right mucked and I took my chips with the trip kings. Success!

Unfortunately for the rest of us, the next guy moved to the table was the chip leader he had about triple my stack and significantly more than the rest of the table. It didn’t take him long to start throwing it around either as he started forcing the smaller stacks to go all in if they wanted to play. Thankfully he was a little more leery of me, but I still took a couple of small hits before the interlude…

When we came back after a break the play slowed down a bit as we neared the bubble. The scandi managed to knock someone else out with a set of over set hand, but other than that we seemed to all be just trying to squeak onto the last two tables and make the money. Then, shockingly enough, it actually happened as we were redrawn for the showdown.

I got into it on the first hand post bubble with KdQd vs two others on a board of Qh10h9c. One of the guys pushed all in and we called. The turn was the Ad, I was a pussy and checked, as did the other guy. The river was another Ace and we double checked again, we all flipped at once and I was happy to see that I’d beaten the other guy who had a J-10. Unfortunately a pair of jacks doesn’t beat quads and the all in guy flipped over pocket Aces.

To be concluded…

So today is officially the day after the Winnipeg Fringe Festival.

Therefore it’s also officially the first time I haven’t attended the festival at all in over ten years, probably fifteen. It’s hard to describe how sad I am about that.

To some people the festival is a fun period of time where they go out to a few shows. To me it’s almost 2 weeks of non-stop fun…

It’s a time of year that:

• I’m out every night seeing unique theatre…
• I’m sharing stories with random strangers about what shows are great (and what’s a total stinker)…
• I’m thanking the memory of my grandmother for instilling in me an appreciation for theatre…
• I’m seeing some friends I only see once a year at the festival…
• I’m seeing random people I never knew were fringe fans in one of those “Winnipeg is a smaller town than you think” moments.
• I’m likely having a meal or two a day downtown, and at least a couple drinks at the kings head… (mmm scotch eggs)
• I actually resent the bombers for having a home game and keeping me away from Old Market Square.

I love seeing the exchange come alive for a celebration, and it absolutely broke my heart to not be there last week. I look forward to Fringe all year long and the last few days of the fest are super melancholy as I realize how much fun it’s been and how long it is til it’s here again. Being out in Waterloo didn’t stop me from having that feeling this weekend either. Even if I’m working out here permanently next year it’ll take some serious obstacles to keep me away two years in a row.

***Warning: Heavy Poker Content***

It’s been ages since I’ve played any poker, either live or online, but I had a rainy evening free this week and fired up my laptop for a little fix. Browsing the tables I found a reasonably small scale SNG that like wouldn’t keep me up too late if I went deep. Little did I know it was going to turn into a roller coaster ride.

The opening few minutes were the usual explosion of push and whiffers. For those who don’t play tourneys online I should explain. In the opening few minutes of these low denomination tournaments(which is all I let myself play online til I’m done school), there is a decent chance you’ll have one or more people who will go All-In on one of their first hands if it’s half decent. These people are either hoping to show early aggression, or in many cases they’re hoping for a call or two and a win in order to start the the tourney off with a decent chip lead at their table. If they lose, they’re only out the buy in. There are a lot of reasons why people think this is a good idea, but I won’t go into them. Suffice it to say that if you’re a normal player, it’s a good idea to stay out of any hands for the first orbit or two unless you’ve got a monster hand. Even by normal standards, this particular tourney was lousy in the opening minutes.

In the first hand across the 10 table tourney, 9 players busted. Within the first 4 hands at my table, 6 people busted including a 4 way all in where the winning hand was a pair of queens. My best hand for the first few orbits was a J-10 suited so I didn’t mind sitting back for a bit. Still it was definitely the fastest I’d ever been moved tables in an online tourney when we were split up after a single orbit. Thankfully things became a little less mental at this point as the more insane among us were weeded out. Over the next few hands I won a few small pots without going to a showdown and made one pretty decent laydown with trip jacks when the opponent in question tabled a straight flush to cripple the former chipleader.

Click onward for the rest of the post…

The first really interesting hand came for me after about 45 minutes. I’d been holding steady at the top of the bottom third of the field and was feeling a little card dead when I found As-Qs as Big Blind. First to act was a guy I’d been calling the plumber since he had Mario as an icon, he simply called and was followed by a few folds. Unsurprisingly, the guy sitting in the 3 seat (who’d been incredibly aggressive since I joined the table) raised to 3x the big blind. The scandi sitting next to him tanked for a moment before folding, as did the table chiplead sitting on his left. The girl sitting in seat 6 was the player I was most worried about. Though I hadn’t played in ages and didn’t remember her, I’d obviously faced her before as I’d put a note on her that said: “Not afraid to bluff, but often has the cards to back up her stuff. Ice Queen” What I’d seen in the previous hands had only backed up that impression and I’d been trying to avoid her. Unfortunately she called, as did the total donkey in the small blind. Since it was the best hand I’d seen in forever, I called as well.

The flop came out Qd 10s 9s and I smiled, I had to be worried about the straight but I was fairly certain that the pre-flop action precluded anyone having trips. Action checked to me and I passed as well, knowing that the aggressive twit would probably raise despite probably having King-rag suited. First though, the plumber threw in a small bet, predictably the twit doubled the bet and sent it on to the Ice Queen. Thankfully she must have missed the flop and folded. The donkey on my right (apparently from Romania) called for a significant chunk of what he had left. If he had anything at all he should have been pushing all-in in hopes of doubling up and extending his misery by scaring us out. Since the plumber had been fairly timid and was already fingering his cards I guessed he was folding, I also knew the twit would call regardless. I figured I had him beat, and even if I didn’t I had a lot of outs including the nut flush draw. I didn’t want the Eurodonk to stick around and luck something out unless he committed all his chips so I raised double again. Unsurprisingly I got two folds and a call from the twit.

The turn was the queen of clubs. I pretending to think for a second before pushing all-in and leaving it to him. Surprisingly he took a while to think about things, actually calling for time. That made me fairly confident that he didn’t have the last queen and a boat with it. When he did call after about 30 seconds I was pleased to see that I’d pegged him exactly. He had Ks 7s for two inside straight draws and a lesser flush draw. As both sets of cards went face up for the showdown he swore, then oddly begged for the Js. Somewhere someone was listening and he got the Js for his flush but still lost to my flush just as I managed to type “Uh…”. I doubled up (and then some) on the hand.

A couple hands later after the twit had handed the rest of his stack around the table I questioned in chat how he’d managed to get the chip lead. The Ice queen responded that he’d busted someone on a coinflip then managed to get into a four-way all in just before I’d joined the table. Apparently he won on a runner runner straight.

To be continued…

First off, word on the street is that the upcoming release of Community Season One on DVD will include a short comic book featuring the exploits of in world B-Movie hero Kick-Puncher (the hero whose punches have the powers of kicks) that will also feature scantily clad comic heroines based on certain leading ladies. Sadly this comes after rumours that we won’t be getting a blu-ray edition. Come on NBC, some of us don’t want to add any more DVDs to our shelves but still want to support what has quickly become a fantastic show. If you haven’t given it a shot, or didn’t tune back in after the shaky pilot Community was arguably the best new show last year and has quickly become a personal favorite. If you’re male and on the fence, do a youtube search for “Community Annie Pottery scene” and be won over quickly…

Second is a fantastic blog I discovered a while back and have since linked on the sidebar, but it deserves special mention. Allie is a bit of an odd duck, not unlike myself, and her blog is a hilarious collection of personal stories held together with simple but very effective mspaint art.  trust me, you will enjoy her often very personal but always hilarious tales of her childhood and ongoing struggle to become an adult. If you’re like me you’ll also read her backlog and quickly begin to wonder how exactly she’s still among the living. Check her out at Hyperbole and a Half..

and lastly…

Darth Vader robs a bank…

hat tip to the AVclub…

The other day I was at the drugstore trying to choose a birthday card for my team to give to our boss when I noticed a familiar face peeking out from the kids birthday section. The shining silver mouth, the oddly expressive eyes and the almost batman like points of his head were all instantly recognizable. It was Optimus Prime, the world’s greatest father figure and since it was a sound chip card he was “getting a signal to wish me a happy birthday.” Now don’t get me wrong, I have an amazing father. He’s a patient and kind (if slightly odd) man who is a genuine inspiration to me. However; Optimus Prime is a robot.

Let’s go through the reasons for Prime’s supremacy as a father figure.

1. He’s a Robot…

Robots fit the classic North American strong father figure archetype perfectly. Tall, strong, barrel-chested (truck-chested?) and able to defend his family, when you boasted that “my dad could beat up your dad” as a little kid you’d win pretty much by default.

2. He’s also a truck

Growing up, how cool would it have been to pull up at the front door of your elementary school in a giant shining truck that drives itself?

3. His voice…

Peter Cullen’s iconic voice inspires the autobots to fight against impossible odds. Could you possibly resist doing your homework or eating your veggies with that voice chiding you gently? What about bedtime stories? I’m sure Fred Savage would have preferred Optimus Prime over Colombo.

4. Self-sacrifice and nobility

There are too many examples to list, indeed at times some would argue that Prime seems to be far too noble. Honestly though, is that even possible in a father?

5. You’d get to see and do things other humans never will

Want to see Cybertron? How about exploring other planets? Wouldn’t a transforming robotic power suit be cool to have? You might even get a career in space. Sure, we all know that once in a while you’ll get kidnapped and put in mortal peril. Don’t be scared… Starscream or Rumble will end up in charge of guarding you and you’ll be able to escape through their sheer incompetence.

6. Never be late for soccer practice

Even if he can’t drive you there himself he can always pull that little wheelie robot out of his trailer and send you off in that. Heck, worst case scenario he can just order Bumblebee to be your bitch like he always was for that Spike Witwicky kid. (Incidentally, how come Sparkplug named his son Spike, but Spike named his kid Daniel… shouldn’t he have gone with Chainsaw or Carburetor or something?)

7. You’ll never have to hire a moving company

Just think, not only can he carry all your stuff off to college or a new job in his trailer but he can transform and hand boxes in through the window of your crummy 5th floor walkup and save you some stairs.

8. He’ll be around for the long haul

Sure all those sad farewells may tug on your heartstrings a bit, but he never seems to die permanently. There are things to be said for a near immortal dad. Eventually you would have seen it happen often enough that you could probably make some decent coin betting on his resurrection.

9. He’s a ROBOT!

The coolness of this cannot be overstated…

Is it any wonder that some of us cried when he died in Transformers: The Movie?* We all knew that Ultra Magnus and Hot Rod(imus) were no replacement for this icon of leadership, masculinity and parental excellence. Even watching the abominations created by Michael Bay the presence and dignity of the voice rises above the schlock. I can almost bear slow motion running from explosions and random meaningful stares into sunsets when it’s narrated by Peter Cullen. If only Frank Welker had been involved too…

*well I was 7 at the time…

Apologies for absence, last school term was hellish. So many blog entries half finished as a major crisis erupted with a project. For those who might still check this site
on occasion, my sincere thanks. Here’s a super awesome recipe or two to get back into the habit.

Some people are of the opinion that soups other than the chilled variety should be saved for winter. Hogwash I say. (or should I go with poppycock as an outmoded but fun to say contrary exclamation?) A good, reasonably light soup can be the perfect addition to a summer meal or can, served with fresh baguette and the beverage of your choice, make an excellent light summer meal out on your deck/balcony.

Note, the names of the recipes are links to the actual recipe.

Exhibit A:

Cream of Cambonzola Soup

The flavour of this soup is very mellow at first with the after taste of the blue portion of the cheese making a really nice counterpoint. In my opinion this soup works best when accompanied by something else with a nice low key flavour.

Serving Suggestions:

Pair with a light sandwich, roasted chicken and provolone is a personal favorite. Also works nicely along with a large salad and a hunk of baguette as a light but satisfying meal on a sweltering day. Add in a peppy white wine or beer to round out the meal.

Exhibit B:

Fiery Tomato Vodka Soup with Chipotle, Lime and Basil

This spicy summer soup I came up with for an iron chef competition a few years back just screams summer to me. The smoky spice of the chipotle is balanced by the lime and basil to make a refreshing hot weather meal. Finish the soup with a dollop of creme fraiche or sour cream for a bit of extra contrast.

Serving Suggestions:

Extremely tasty suggestion include pairing with a grilled chicken or veggie quesadilla, Fish Tacos, or simply served with Tortillas or Nachos on the side. Practically begs for an accompanying margarita.

Exhibit C:

Tom Kha Gai (your transliteration may vary)

One of a few thai soups I could easily add to this list. The variety of flavours in this soup really make it sing on your palette and it’s filling enough that one bowl is usually enough. Handily enough, it’s also incredibly easy to make. If the recipe linked above doesn’t match your favorite restaurants version search around, here are thousands of recipes available.

Serving Suggestions:

If you’re having it as the main portion of your meal I personally feel it’s brilliant on its own, but a nice hunk of crusty french bread also works. This is another soup that is just dying for nice peppy light beer. The usual Thai accompaniment is a Singha.

=======================

So… there’s 3 suggestions. Anyone have any others? Post

them on the wiki!

Trying to clear out my kitchen before I move home I made the following the other night… excellent stuff.

Cherry Peach Jam

This is a really tasty sweet jam recipe that I adapted from a crazily overdone one I found elsewhere on the net. The cherry juice turns the peaches a beautiful ruby colour and the aroma while it’s cooking is to die for.

Ingredients

Method

• Sterilize your jars and keep them nice and warm so the temperature shock of the hot jam doesn’t shatter them.

• Chop your fruit, then combine in blender or food processor. (You can also mash with a potato masher, but it takes a while)

• Process until you hit the desired consistency, I like my jam a little chunky but you can get it as smooth as you want.

• Move the fruit to a pot, add your pectin and lime juice.

• Bring to a boil

• Add the sugar, then bring to a rolling boil

• Once it’s boiling, cook while stirring vigourously for 5 minutes or so

• The scum that forms at the top is harmless, but doesn’t look very nice in your jam, stir in about a tbsp of butter and much of it will dissipate. If some remains you can add more butter, or remove it with a spoon.

• Ladle hot jam into jars, ideally with a canning funnel, but you can do without.

• Seal jars and process for 10 Minutes in a boiling water bath.

Super super tasty and really quick for a jam. Made excellent farewell gifts at the office as I finish my second last week.  More content to come soon.

I won’t be in Winnipeg for about 80% of Fringe so sadly the review tradition on this site is likely to be on hold for this year. Hopefully I can do some post-game for the Edmonton types since I will be in Winnipeg to catch the last weekend.

Still too busy hereabouts to do much actual writing, but there is still a vegas story or two to come, I promise (in addition to a tale of sweet lion-y almost death) In the meantime here is a great article that was linked to me.

“I needed a job and xenu was hiring” - A story about applying for a job with Scientology (accidently)