The Final Countdown

The Similans

And here it was… the final few days of the trip. While it wasn’t quite over yet there was no more ‘next week’ and I had to actual start planning to get back to Bangkok and start that long ride home… but not… quite… yet…

Khao Lak is the popular name for a region on the Andaman Coast of Phang Nga Province that lies not far north of the Phuket. Khao Lak itself is actually one small village but is now used to describe a larger series of beaches/towns around the base of the mountains in the region. The Andaman Sea itself is the shallow coastal region of the Indian ocean that makes up most of the western coastline of the peninsula that is southern Thailand. That probably doesn’t mean much to you as a reader but in practice for me it meant it was a much less dense collection of tourists than Phuket itself. While the coast between some of the villages definitely had a number of quite swanky hotel there were collections of smaller hotels and guest houses, lots of locals actually living here and a variety of restaurants and shops. The big attractions of the area are two large national parks… one based around the mountains and waterfalls of the interior… the other a marine preserve about an hour offshore. Guess which one I was there for!

I’d ended up booking a strangely named bungalow called ‘The Mouth’ that was about halfway between two of the villages but walkable to both. Unfortunately because my flight was so late and then I had the roughly 1h15 drive I could tell the host was waiting up for me when I arrived. I did get to meet the welcoming party of two adorable mutts named Coffee and Latte before checking in and finally getting the shower I’d been aching for since sitting on the samui beach hours before. Unfortunately I also got the unwelcome news that they were changing my room after the first night. I wasn’t super happy about this as I was being picked up for my dive trip at 7:30 the following morning so I had to actually budget an early enough wakeup to unpack my scuba stuff and clothes for the day, repack (including my valuables) and trust that it would all end up in the new room. In the end it was fine but I grumbled. I had time for a quick glass of juice and a couple bananas before I was picked up and the minibus driver took a kind of baffling route to the pier… first backtracking down the main road then turning back and grabbing people at some quite fancy hotels (I was already debating an extra night here so was checking out prices on the places and couldn’t believe the variety between some very similar looking places.)  Thankfully it wasn’t a full morning trip though as the pier turned out to only be about 20 minutes back south where it seemed most/all of the dive groups around departed. Access to the park requires a licensed operator and a reasonably high daily fee as they make at least some effort at preserving the area but I think they need to do more.

I’d strongly considered doing a liveaboard trip for my dive portion of the trip however prices were VERY high for anything that was still available when I was booking semi last minute. I’m not going to lie, I was also a little scared at how diving would go. I’ve only gone for one dive since losing a bunch of weight and my breath control is definitely still off. Divers will know what I mean, but basically my ability to keep at a level plane in the water by regulating my breathing intake amounts/speed. This combined with your weight belt and the amount of air in your buoyancy vest is what helps you ‘hover’ in the water. I still didn’t really know my weight belt needs at that point since I’m down another bunch of weight since my one dive in Greece last year (I’m closer after these dives but I think I really need a few more dives to zero it in.) In other words I was worried about flailing around like a newbie and wasting air and pissing off someone else who’d paid a fortune to be there too as I made them come up early. Sadly part of being a diving fan who lives in this terrible place for diving. I’m not super enthused about paying good money to go dive in West Hawk lake but there are definitely times when I wish I could go for a refresher dive not long before a trip that wasn’t just dipping in a swimming pool. That said… at this point I was aching to go diving. I know I don’t have many divers among my readers but there’s something about slipping under the waves and entering a different world that is the most soothing thing possible to me so I was absolutely ready.

Once at the pier I was assigned with two girls and another guy to a Spanish dive leader named Caro and we chatted a bit. The two young women were German (which would become a theme) and my personal dive buddy was Piotr from Poland. Eventually all the folks arrived, I gathered our boat was transporting two different dive shops worth of people but it was owned/run by the company I was using. Boarding was somewhat of a herding action as multiple boats were leaving for our group, another company was loading a giant way too large group of snorkelers and two other smaller dive boats loaded very nearby but at least not the same pier. My company was called Sea-Bees and seemed to be fairly well run, though nobody asked me for my dive card or to fill out any medical info in advance which is kind of a no-no. That aside they did at least have adequate medical stocks on both this support boat and eventual dive tender we were headed out to. The offshore marine preserve is the Similan Islands National Park and consists of a number of small-ish rocky/jungle islands about an hour and a half offshore. For a supposed marine preserve we saw a number of quite large cargo haulers passing between the islands and the mainland… you’d think they could stay outside the islands easily enough since I doubt anything that size was beelining for Phuket.

Eventually we saw the islands appear out of the morning haze… rocky domes topped with bright green trees surrounded by absolutely crystal clear turquoise waters and wish already visibly swarming the boat even before we docked with the actual dive tender called Stingray. We all bundled aboard with our gear (I’d only brought mask and fins and booties but some folks had full gear) and trundled upstairs to the observation deck where there was more fruit and cookies laid out. If you’re on a dive boat worth it’s salt you know you’re going to eat well. Unfortunately (and inexplicably for a hobby so reliant on lungs) the boat was full of Germans and fully half of them decided to light up a cigarette. So gross. I plonked myself down close to one of the railings despite the hot sun and tried to avoid the clouds. The various staff members unloaded the tender with whatever extra gear they’d brought from shore and lunch fixings etc then group by group we were called down for dive briefings and gear setup. I’d previously dived in relatively nearby waters on my previous Thailand trip (around Koh Lanta) so the fish forecast was about what I expected but I remained nervous as my dive leader guesstimated my required weights. I did at least get the lovely knowledge that these days a large wetsuit more than adequately fits me so no more trying to squeeze my shoulders into the largest ones they happen to have on the boat.

Once briefed our group loaded on to a zodiac and scooched a bit further up the coast before back rolling in at the head of a reef. Piotr was a nice guy but a bit of a high needs diver and went back and forth on whether he wanted Caro to take his camera in for him (he hadn’t adequately prepped his gopro for the situation however he did eventually get some nice shots.) He was also not great as a dive buddy as he had a tendency to swim off in random directions to shoot something with his camera and I’d turn around and he’d be heading the opposite direction of the gentle drift dive we were supposed to do along the drop. I was still fighting with my buoyancy a bit… this was definitely a bit too much weight but I counteracted it with a bit of extra air. Overall my consumption was decent but with the combination of trying to keep tabs on Piotr and the drift Caro had gotten a bit ahead by the time I was reaching the ‘time to signal her we should start ascending’ mark and I think Piotr was past it. This would have been fine if she’d turned around and asked for our current air despite the distance (visibility was phenomenal) but she didn’t for a very long stretch until I finally got close enough to tug one of her fins and signal. When we got above water and before the second dive she scolded us for not letting her know sooner but honestly… it was on her and to a lesser extent Piotr. I wasn’t in any danger as I was keeping tabs on my air and would have surfaced myself if I’d had to but she acted like we hadn’t been watching at all. Unfortunately getting back into the zodiac was really bad for me as though my leg hadn’t been hurting me too much for every day mobility… it was very much not a fan of lifting me+steel tank and gear+plus weight belt+however many pounds of absorbed water I had and I struggled up the ladder on that leg.

Once above water we got a delicious curry lunch and a bit of a break in the sunshine as the Stingray transferred over to one of the other islands. I know I’ve mentioned it before but a post dive hunger attack is like the post-swim snackies magnified by at least 4. I probably ate more curry than I did any other meal that trip and despite the super tiny galley on that boat this was some top tier green curry, spring rolls and some honey spiced chicken and rice as well. After lunch the smoking started again but thankfully because of the spot I’d chosen and the headwind it didn’t bother me as much. Piotr and I had a chat and I learned that he was older than he seemed and ran a recycling company back in Poland, he insisted on showing me some gnarly photos of his surgery after a motorcycle accident when his leg was reconstructed but I managed to get him to agree to send me the photos from his camera for these dives.

Dive #2 was in a gorgeous little group of rocks just offshore from another of the Similan islands, below the surface was a solid boulder garden that reminded me of some of my snorkeling spots in Fiji. Definitely some varied terrain but Caro had warned us that the current could surge here and she might be adjusting our path depending on it (and I’d privately warned Piotr to keep a closer eye on her so I didn’t have to try and bridge a gap between them again, thankfully his camera was low on power so he was a bit more restrained in what he chased after this dive.) Sure enough as we crested one area we got hit with a surge that more or less brought us to a standstill. Caro motioned us to squeeze between a gap in a giant bisected boulder and sure enough the surge lessened the moment we crossed the threshold. Annoyingly the girls had gotten to do the swim through below but I’d gotten tarred with Piotr’s brush and she had forbidden us to do it despite the fact that it was very open and I’d done way tighter swim-throughs previously.

We saw a number of lovely schools of fish on both these dives, trumpetfish, parrotfish, some wrasses, numerous lion/stonefish various kinds of blowfish, a ton of nudibranchs… but towards the end of the trip we ran into an old friend from my Fiji snorkeling… a Banded Sea Krait a very venomous (but not aggressive) sea snake that Piotr insisted on going to get a good shot of. I can’t say I blame him as they move in such an interesting way but it was as we tried to stay still in the current that my weight belt decided to break. I thought at first that the snap had come loose but as I very carefully stayed horizontal to keep it in place and signaled Caro for help I could tell that the other end of the buckle had simply pulled off the webbing. Unfortunately, when you’re sitting there in your BCD it’s not exactly easy to get the angle on it to see anything without taking it off, at which point you risk dropping some/all of the weights and completely pooching your buoyancy. Eventually she managed to get it secured temporarily and we surfaced where I again got yelled at for not managing my air despite the fact that no… I had… I’d shown her that I was at 70 (the ‘it’s time to go up’ pressure) at the appropriate time it just happened to be while she was fighting with my weight belt and presumably she forgot. I also surfaced with more left in my tank than one of the girls so I’m not sure why I got singled out given I was the one dealing with a minor emergency caused by their equipment. Side Note: I was not super surprised to discover the next day that she’d only been a dive instructor for a couple months at that point when she revealed that fact to the girls as we were enjoying the ride back in. She was nice and a good diver but I think needs a bit more seasoning.

I was definitely ready for a break after that so I was glad I didn’t have a night dive overnight planned like I’d originally considered. I fired up some tunes as we transferred to the tender as it was noisy enough conversation wasn’t really possible, not that that mattered as most of the passengers dozed off within 10 minutes of leaving the Similans and starting the transfer to shore. I wasn’t quite at that tired state yet so I watched the waves fly by and waved back at the fishermen heading out for an evening’s catch (likely squid fishing I think based on last time in this area.) Thankfully the arrival back at the pier wasn’t quite the same level of simultaneous action and we managed to get up and out and assigned back to minibuses relatively quickly. Hilariously at this point no one had asked me for money or even a credit card as a guarantee and I wondered what they would do if I checked out of my hotel tonight and didn’t return for day two as all they had was my email address and a passport number they’d never verified. Once back on board our bus Sarah (one of my new German dive buddies) and I quickly discovered that the routes indeed seemed to be prioritized by how fancy your hotel was as our driver drove past both of our places twice to hit more outlying resorts for the boomer couples in our car before doubling back to hit her tiny hostel and my smallish guesthouse. This was confirmed the next day when the driver went even more out of his way. Back at “The Mouth” I said hi to my new pup friends before getting an escort to my new bungalow, more or less a twin of the first one but with a worse view. Thankfully all my stuff was waiting and the shower was just as good as that was all I cared about at that moment. I spent a solid 20 minutes cleaning salt and generally rejuvenating then went out on my balcony and read my book as the sun slowly sank down over the ocean (though I could only see the treeline ? .) Honestly I was pretty pooped though and succumbed to the lure of the bed for an hour of semi-dozing watching a tv show before forcing myself up and out to dinner.

The lady at the front desk had recommended a place on the same sidestreet as we were located but their prices seemed a bit high so I decided to do a quick reconnoiter up on the main drag first. In doing so though I walked past the local place (called the Happy Snapper) and found a pretty pleasant garden atmosphere with open air tables and a little combo playing cover songs. I followed through and had a quick look at the main drag but nothing within a ten minute walk really looked or sounded great so I turned around and grabbed a table under a palm tree and ordered a curry and a cider.   The curry wasn’t bad (though they charged extra for rice :p) the cider was wet and delicious and the band was fun so it turned out to be probably the perfect laid back/enjoyable evening I needed. I ended up staying for the rest of the band’s set, tossed them a fiver and was asleep probably fifteen minutes later in prep for another early morning the next day.

Thankfully the next day was a bit less hectic all around… I got up a bit later, had time to actually sit down and eat some pineapple and drink some juice rather than just grabbing bananas to go. Also got to give Coffee and Latte a thorough cuddle which was nice as I was really missing my girls back home. Once back at the dock I was finally asked to pay and we eventually repeated the trip out to the islands… though with only about half the passengers we’d had the day before. The same two girls were with Caro (Sarah and another) and I had a new partner named Axel who was a very large man in width and height. Otherwise the routine was the same other than us hopping off the tender instead of the zodiac or big boat this time. I was less of a fan of that as it’s not set up with a big rear deck with space for putting on fins etc so there’s some awkward squeezing about. Axel had apparently paid for an extra large tank but was either otherwise inexperienced or otherwise rusty and actually turned off my air while doing the buddy check which uh… thanks buddy? Once we were in the water he wasn’t a ton better as I ended up having the opposite problem I had with Piotr in that every time I turned to check on he’d be literally on top of me, or right under me or I’d actively have kicked him because he wasn’t watching where he was going. He also burned through that giant air tank pretty quickly and we were back above the surface in under 30 minutes. To my frustration Caro scolded us about air use again even though I’d finished with the most air left of anyone other than her. Apparently Axel had gotten a bit excited with his camera as we saw another krait and I guess his desire to take photos had clashed with a fear of snakes and he churned through some air…

We had a longer trip between dive sites this time at the lunch break which was handy because lunch included some of the best deep friend chicken wings I’ve ever had (again despite a tiny boat galley) and I pounded back a few more than I should have. The girls and I chatted and enjoyed the sun and breeze and Caro came and sat with us for a bit as well. Eventually Axel showed up as well, revealed himself to be a dentist and asked about my leg and said he thought I should get it checked by a doctor just in case for infection. To be honest I was already leaning this direction but hadn’t wanted to be warned off diving so I’d delayed a bit. This wouldn’t be an issue after today at least and I’d spotted an ‘international clinic’ near-ish to my hotel.

Thankfully Axel’s air use was more under control for the second dive but he continued to constantly be right up in my business. My annoyance factor for this skyrocketed as, perhaps feeling (correctly) like she hadn’t been checking enough the day before Caro kept turning around… but always right after I’d had to dodge the guy… so I was either too high, or using my arms to backpedal (when diving properly your arms should basically be motionless unless you’re using a camera or a light or something) and she’d make a motion to me to level out or get down to her level etc etc etc… basically always something that wasn’t going to be an issue had she turned around 30 seconds before  but I’d had to dodge because Axel had come close to kicking out my regulator or whatever. It was incredibly frustrating since otherwise I felt like I was fully back in my diving groove and indeed when we got back to the boat I had fully 30BAR left and wasn’t particularly far behind her for air usage. Axel was a nice guy but I honestly needed to say something after and I waited til he was upstairs and said ‘for the record, every time you were scolding me for being too high it was cause I’d just dodged Axel’ and thankfully the other German girl said ‘yes I saw him kick you in the face at least twice.’

Highlights for day two were the second krait, a number of anemone fish of black and orange nemo cousin types, humungous schools of smaller glassfish with a few larger shoals of things like Angelfish, surgeon fish, various snappers and trevally and ooooh barracuda! (and many more) I also briefly saw an octopus but he jetted away before I could point him out to camera boy sadly. Annoyances aside, this was a gorgeous place to dive. The water was perfect, despite the offshore location current and surge were never too huge a problem and visibility was absolutely phenomenal as you can see from the photos. I gather as monsoon season arrives the visibility can get much worse but my understanding is diving more or less stops here for a couple months after the end of February which is no doubt good for the health of the park as well. I definitely plan to go back and do a liveaboard between these and the more northern/remote Sulin Island group at some point in my life. I still think they’re kind of overpriced but my Australia liveaboard remains a top 3 experience of my life so I’ll do it someday. This trip also reminded me that I really should get around to getting a dive computer.

Riding back in an hour later we logged our dives and chatted a bit about our fave dive sites. Sarah made us all jealous about her future dive plans for her current trip (I gather she was on a post school long term one like yours truly once did.) We’d also celebrated during the dive as that was her 50th trip down which made me realize I really need to consolidate my various books into the PADI app and figure out how many I’ve done now. Axel reiterated that I should hit the doctor and I assured him that I would.

A circuitous trip back to the mouth later I stopped at the front and asked if they recommended any particular clinic or if the close one was fine. Unfortunately for once language barriers were an issue but I eventually ended up on the phone with the close one and they said ‘we have no one right now if you want to come’ I told her I’d have a shower first but apparently I missed the aspect (or more likely she’d told the guy who didn’t have the best English) that they’d send a car. Instead I walked twenty minutes which was peanuts compared to what I’d been walking lately but somewhat exasperated the nurse who I’d talked to on the phone when I arrived. The clinic itself was brand new looking and spotless and I was quickly checked in, had my vitals taken and all the usual urgent care jazz. At this point I still had a deep gash which I’d been washing and cleaning daily with a local betadine clone and covering with a waterproof bandage for diving, a couple mostly healed scabby scrapes and a giant bruise and various associated bruised areas. There was also just generalized pain associated with standing in certain poses or after sitting for a while but I was fairly certain that was just the large welt straining the existing skin. The nursing staff were super great, I was less impressed with the doctor whose initial exam was basically ‘yeah that leg looks much larger than the other one’ (yeah, thanks chief) as he sent me in for an x-ray. I explained that I’d probably walked 50+ kilometers on it at this point so I doubted it was a full break if anything but I was all for an x-ray to make sure. I was less in favour of zero lead covering for my other areas while they did the x-rays but at least it wasn’t a chest film. At first glance as the x-ray came up I could tell there was no major break but waited for news on hairline issues as they sent me back to the “ER” exam room.

The nursing staff spent the intervening time doing a deep re-clean of the wound, commenting that I’d done a good job but they wanted to be sure all the debris was out. No complaints here and they had me all cleaned and meticulously bandaged by the time the doc came back in and confirmed there was no break but that ‘my bones are very big’ to which I just replied ‘I used to be much heavier.’ Armed with some new higher dose antibiotic ointment, seven days worth of oral horse pills to combat possible infection and a hefty bill for about $350 Canadian I took advantage of their car service this time and got dropped off down at the night market… that it turned out didn’t run this particular night… alas. Thankfully I realized I was actually near Sarah’s hostel and had seen a small Burmese place there so managed to get a big bowl of Burmese curry noodle soup to finally chase the last of the diving hungries away. Absolutely delicious thick and filling with a golden mango shake on the side. I couldn’t resist stopping at the happy snapper on the way back for one drink but the band called it quits earlier than night so that was all it was.

Unusually for me this had been basically the only part of the trip I’d done seat of my pants (though I’d only booked THE MOUTH right before the trip) I had nothing planned for the last few days of the trip and actually decided I’d be up for another day or two in Khao Lak rather than back in Bangkok and I’d maybe do a tour of the land based park. Unfortunately because it was a Friday night and this area is actually a place that some more local folks (both Thai and nearby countries) spend a long weekend I was out of luck for anything that wasn’t $250 a night. In retrospect I should have done one more night in the islands, one more night in Khao Lak and just returned to Bangkok the morning before I left but oh well… hindsight. It just happens that this trip was at absolute peak season of a busy year so I couldn’t be as flexible as I sometimes am on these trips.

With some difficulty I booked myself on a flight back to Bangkok the next night and headed to bed.

Since my flight wasn’t until 9pm I left my bags in the hotel lobby and hiked down towards the nearest of the villages where I’d been the night before. While I’d seen the boat sitting near Sarah’s hostel and the Burmese place I hadn’t had a good look so I walked over and confirmed that yes… this was the Thai police patrol boat that washed this far inland during the Boxing Day tsunami of 2004. I wrote a whole mess of words about the tsunami when visiting Phuket on my last trip here so I won’t go back over everything but you can definitely see how wrecked this area must have been. Given it’s a series of narrow beach plains on a relatively unprotected coast it’s not really surprising. Given I didn’t have the time on land to explore the whole area I didn’t see any of the other monuments but there are apparently a number of them scattered around the ‘khao lak’ area. After marveling at the boat (it honestly looks as if it was purposely moved there) I walked through the village of Bang Niang down to the beach. There are definitely signs on the beach that this was once a bit more developed. The road down to the beach ends in a number of giant jagged blocks of concrete as though there was once a pier there, the sand trip is narrow despite the wide bay and feels like it was probably once much more plentiful and a few of places closest to the beach either feel underdeveloped or recently/haphazardly repaired. This too is probably where some of these new larger resorts came from though I suppose it’s also likely that this area being farther from Phuket has been lagging slightly behind on the recovery as tourism gets back to record levels around here.

I sat on the beach quite a while and enjoyed my last gasp of ocean for this trip. I think if I return to Khao Lak I’ll probably do the liveaboard thing ending here then spring for a fancier oceanfront hotel for a couple days just to savour the view. Spending 200+ a night when I’m spending the entire day out diving (for another couple hundred) has never seemed like a particular good use of money though. It was a HOT day though, I think 38 with the humidex and I decided to indulge and let myself have a coke and a sit under a fan. This little town was just as German focused as the rest of the area with every second shop having a sprechen sie Deutsch sign up. I couldn’t resist posting up at a cute open air café at the intersection of two roads and ordering their special schnitzel (yes again!) and a large coke to refuel. While it wasn’t in the same tier as the one at chinchilla it was absolutely delicious and made for some great people watching for an hour or so. I’d actually hoped to pick up some form of khao lak diving tee shirt but I never actually saw the physical location for my shop and none of the other shops seemed to have merch. Even the general market stalls only had the same generic mass produced thai beer company tees you see everywhere here. I remember when I dove on Koh Tau there were definitely large amounts of diving related apparel on offer. Sadly while exploring I also discovered there was a beer festival planned with what looked like a ton of extra food carts and bands, unfortunately it wasn’t kicking off until later that evening. In the end I just wandered around the town a bit longer before grabbing a gelato.

Walking around Khao Lak was another reminder of the schizophrenic thai take on cleanliness and respect for property. Garbage tends to pile up a lot here. I’m not sure if that’s a lack of people in the jobs to take it away (this seemed likely on Pha Ngan) or just lack of infrastructure. Given the tropical climate this can sometimes be unpleasant but I also know it’s not a HUGE problem like it can be some places. The scourge that is plastic bottles is definitely a big problem and I’d frequently see locals just tossing them out of their car windows. Yet at the same time many things are spotless and most public areas are well groomed. We’ve talked previously about the less than plentiful respect Thai folks have for leaving the sidewalk passable for pedestrians and that was certainly the case here as well. Yet at the same time I’ve seen multiple times on this trip a business just wrapped in chicken wire or a tarp to keep out the most casual of walk by theft and nothing more. Likewise while walking khao lak I saw a few public laundromats that are literally just shiny new machines under the barest of protections from the rain, often down a dark alley… can’t help but think of how that would be stripped in Winnipeg within an hour.

After hiking back to my digs I discovered a bigger problem… finding a cab to the airport was a bit of a problem. I’d mentioned to the lady on the morning crew that I wanted one but hadn’t given her a firm time and it seems as if no one was in the mood to drive to Phuket that evening (perhaps they were all going to the beer festival) but in retrospect given it was Friday I was probably running into the issue that most of the cabs who did that run had already driven in to catch incoming rides. In the end my lady at The Mouth found me one for $50ish and I headed in to town. It was just as well that I’d planned to go early as traffic was pretty wild at a few chokes points and it took fully 1h45 to get back vs. the 1h15 I’d been expecting. That said, as I got to the airport and checked in I had some good news. I’d purposely booked the late flight as it was significantly cheaper than the one leaving 2 hours earlier (roughly 2/3 the cost) but when I checked in about 2.5 hours early the attendant said ‘We can put you on the earlier flight if you want.’ Heck ya! This got me into Bangkok early enough to not have to go straight to bed, though to be honest it didn’t take me long to find myself there anyway.


I’d sprung for a hotel in a different neighbourhood of Bangkok from my usual haunts. I figured it would force me to explore some new areas and check out a new neighbourhood. Unfortunately it was a bit of a dud. The immediate locale was not particular exciting after dark except for one alley which is the new hive of go go bars and questionable goings on for tourists. The hotel itself was actually less pleasant than my cheaper place over near Khao San and had a dank mildewy smell every time I returned to the room until the AC had run about ten minutes, alas I should have just booked myself at one of the old standby chain and I could have had a nice soak in the pool to end my day. However, it was SUPER convenient to the subway so I ended up just shuttling all over the city from there for relative peanuts (most rides were $1-2.)

Since it was the weekend I ended up spending the next day at the Chatuchak Weekend Market which is an absolutely enormous flea market near the train station. The variety of goods available is truly bonkers though it’s thankfully semi organized into rough categories as otherwise the chaos of the tightly packed stalls would make it unnavigable. One end of the market is dedicated to art with everything from single artists in tiny stalls to small climate controlled rooms with fancier displays. I actually saw a few things I really loved but everything trended towards enormous canvasses which… even taking advantage of the shipping companies helpfully nearby with tubes and postage would not likely have fit anywhere in my house. Definitely more focused on the McMansion crowd with their giant 2 story vestibules. There are large sections for clothes and as I’d hoped I found some very cool shirts that were designs by local artists in amongst the beer tee stalls. In between are large swaths of stalls dedicated to home décor, kitchenware, used clothes (honestly few deals to be had here I was kind of surprised), pet supplies, plants and fake plants as well as books/antiques/handicrafts at one end. The crowd is an odd mix of locals and tourists, particularly in the long canyons of the inner stalls.

I knew I was somewhat pushing my luck on my suitcase weight already once everything was loaded back in both in terms of space and weight so I tried not to go crazy but I did pick up a couple of the aforementioned tees and some Chinese style soup spoons along with a few other small treats between this and later market visits. It was an absolutely stifling day again with the smokey haze that always makes it worse in Bangkok. Eventually I gave in to the lure of various great smells and scouted out for some food. Very enthusiastic google reviews and a packed house led me to a stall selling ‘boat noodles’ which was a hole in the wall with a simple menu of ‘we have it til we don’t’ noodles. I ended up getting fat rice noodles and braised pork in a peppery savoury broth that was probably top 3 for my meals in Thailand this trip. Super weird recommendation to make to someone but yeah… boat noodle stall in the middle of the weekend market in Bangkok, top tier noodles!  It was hot enough that after wandering a while after lunch it was time to find some shade so I hopped back on the subway and wandered around the district near my hotel again, still not super exciting but a little bit cooler.

Later that night I decided to check out the Chinatown weekend night market which I’d never been to before. It was again thankfully a quick subway ride but I wasn’t expecting just how busy it would be, mostly because they don’t actually shut down the road in question they just slightly widen the sidewalks with metal barriers.

I’m not sure if the level of decoration was normal or it was just the fact that we were only a week and a half after lunar new year at this point. It was a bit of a different vibe than most of the night market’s I’d attended this trip but the food was phenomenal. I started with some great greasy noodles with pork and egg, later found some shrimp dumplings that were delicious if rather heavy on the msg… then finished with an amazing BBQ pork bao. Also gave in to a craving for ice cream in the form of this marshmallow wrapped then toasted ice cream bar that was incredibly messy but tasty. It was definitely an adventurous day culinarily.

The next morning (my last day) I decided to meander across the city with the vague idea of checking out some of the parks and seeing a new neighbourhood or two. Lumphini park was described to me as the “Central Park” of Bangkok. I don’t know if I’d go that far but it was indeed an expansive green space in the midst of the city core. I’d picked up a cinnamon croissant from a bizarre little food stall market under the freeway and walked past the US Embassy (flicking a quick double bird at captain Tariff) before making my way through the gates. I ate my croissant watching a monitor lizard sunning itself until some dumb girl got too close and scared it back into the water. Thankfully it turned out the park is more or less overrun with monitors and I saw a number of other ones sunning or swimming away from the main path. Very neat to see as a prairie boy though I know in parts of Thailand they’re super common. The park itself is a pleasant green oasis that unfortunately seemed to be undergoing a bunch of maintenance at this particular moment. There were a number of public art installations (frequently friendship donations from other nations) and ponds and lakes. I’m not sure how the monitors feel about the swan paddleboats but I imagine they mostly stick to the areas people aren’t blundering.

Wandering the rest of the day wasn’t super eventful. I mostly people watched and tried to dodge roadworks. One long avenue I had to walk down a public works team had opened all the sewer grates for about 4 blocks but left no warning barriers up so you were one stumble away from going headfirst into an inky horror. I eventually ended up back down in Chinatown and picked up a few more small gifts from a stall I’d seen my first visit. My other goals was (again) food related and I tried out a back alley curry bar that was recommended in my old guide book and a website I’d found. It’s basically a random Chinatown alley but they have signs up pointing you in the right direction. Two large serving carts with vats of curry boiling away. You choose which curry, you get a bowl, you pay extra if you want some Chinese sausage added… then you pull up a tiny red plastic stool in an alley filled with shophouses and you devour a delicious meal for sub $2. Again this was worth the special trip and something I’d seek out again.

Sadly it was time to head back to Canada quite early the next morning so I ended my last day with a trip to a Michelin starred restaurant near my hotel doing classic Thai I treated myself to a phenomenal lemongrass, lychee and rum cocktail… some shrimp cakes and a delicious curry… and probably spent as much as I’d spent on the previous 10 Thai meals that trip. Was it good? Yes. Was it worth that much more? Definitely not. I’d visit again though, ideally with someone else to sample a few more things… but I pity the people that come to Thailand and only eat in this sort of place.

As I walked back to my hotel, dodging yet another hooker trying to grab my wrist as I passed cowboy alley I caught myself thinking about how great this trip had been. I know it’s been obvious in this travelogue but food is a huge part of what I love about coming here and this trip had demolished even the massive expectations that had been set by the previous trip. I managed to both see my old faves and make some new discoveries. Some I’d repeat, some I wouldn’t. I had regrets about not doing a couple things but they’re relatively minor and will just go on the list for next time because there’s little doubt I’ll be back in Thailand before long. Honestly I’m surprised it took me this long to be back. I suspect next time I may try a different time of year and make a stronger attempt to just completely avoid Bangkok except as airports require it (I wish flying in to Chiang Mai direct didn’t add so much to the cost.) Despite that, I think I enjoyed Bangkok more this time than last. It’s a great city but I definitely enjoy exploring the rest of the country more. Next trip it’s definitely time to hit the east/northeast of the country and to do more diving (maybe bookend the trip with it next time.) In general it’s probably time to push out of my comfort zone a bit more next trip and I’ll probably try to add Laos on to my trip and possibly another side trip (I think I’m bumping up and doing four weeks next time if I can.)

Thankfully the flight back home was faster and my bet on booking an aisle seat in one of the shorter rows at the back of the plane with an empty middle seat next to me paid off and it stayed empty for the long leg. Making up for my ukranian friend last year by having an empty seat next me for both of the trans-pacific flights this time! Of course… I returned home to find we were in the midst of a nasty cold snap and instead of at least a slight improvement I got again and 70ish degree C temperature flip… alas.

The highlights this trip were definitely the food, the elephants and the diving unsurprisingly… the low points were definitely the complications in travelling to/from Pai even if I mostly enjoyed my time there. Lessons learned? 1. Pre-book Pai travel in advance 2. It’s probably time to get some better earplugs for sleeping. 3. Find a woman who dives/friend who dives who actually travels so I don’t have to play dive buddy roulette.

Overall recommendations for someone thinking of going?

-Thailand is a beautiful country and honestly kind of ‘Asia on easy mode’ for English speakers especially with modern smartphones. Just be willing to get out of your comfort zone a bit and you’ll have a much better time. Don’t be the American woman with her tunafish.

-Plan for some time to adjust to the heat, it’s definitely a brick wall when you first arrive.

-Don’t cram your schedule too tight but also make sure you get outside Bangkok.

As always I’m happy to discuss any of my trips further or give you some pointers if you’re interested in going. It’s a very solo traveller friendly country even if you’re a bit older than the backpacker crews those words bring to mind.

Stay tuned for one post featuring some photos I missed early…

Pai Go

Leaving Chiang Mai was less pleasant. I’d hit up the young woman at the front desk the day before to look into a ticket for me to Pai and she said something about reserving me one. This is partially on me, I didn’t realize they’d cut down on the number of minibuses going there and basically only one company was doing it. Unfortunately I didn’t find this out til the morning, when I returned from the cooking class the person on the desk told me there was no note from them. Come morning I asked and ‘no it’s full, maybe you go to station and ask’ (Yes well I would have done that yesterday or started researching alternatives if you’d left a note for me.)

To compound matters she sent me to the wrong station which was (just) within walking range with a suitcase so off I went just to find out that was only for full size buses and the route to Pai had been discontinued at some point. Hop in a grab to the other station, get there to find out all trips are full for the next couple days… ugh… ended up getting hopped on by a ‘private’ cab that charges 3x the price and doesn’t leave til they’re full but thankfully that only took an hour. Since it was basically that or abandon my reservation there and stay in Chiang Mai longer I went for it. To be honest I considered staying in Chiang Mai… or if I hadn’t booked a flight out of Chiang Mai to the islands maybe even just going somewhere else but since everything involved coming back to CM it seemed foolish (The CM-koh samui flight being the priciest in country flight I’d be doing.)

The road to Pai is known for featuring 172 nausea inducing curves as it travels up into the mountains and along a ridge line pass. To put the windy level into perspective it’s roughly a 3 hour trip to cross only 129km of highway distance. When you reach the pee/snack stop there are signs everywhere for motion sickness cures. Thankfully no one in our very packed minivan seemed to be feeling green though I noticed a few people had taken gravol in advance. There were definitely a few who looked very relieved that the journey was over

The road and the surroundings of Pai were stunning with sharp rising hills covered in an absolute carpet of greenery. It made me wonder how much greener it could get since I knew it was the dry season. One of these days I’ll have to come to Thailand in the rainy season and see some of these rivers and waterfalls at full force. The town of Pai… was less impressive. It’s basically become a backpacker mecca in the north and is the most reachable outpost on the Mae Hong Loop in the NW of the country. Even before Thailand legalized (sort of) weed it had a hippie commune rep. To be honest that was part of the reason I’d skipped it on my previous visit. My first impression of the town is that it seemed like Khao San Road in Miniature (KS Road being the backpacker strip in Bangkok that’s a combo cheap backpacker mecca/mini spring break atmosphere.) The poster child for the vibe here might have been the first guy I walked down the street behind. A tall bearded dude that could have been Indian Jesus smoking an enormous joint and wearing mirrored sunglasses and a velvet bathrobe that said ‘Maid of Honour.’

I had been mildly worried about this party central vibe and had booked a small guesthouse a bit off the main drag so I got my bearings and quickly set off. It was pretty clear that the main hive of activity was along this one street and in fact later in the evening it’s a nightly walking street for a few hours. I passed a few tshirt stalls, more motorbike rental signs that I can count and a few restaurants that looked like possibilities. In true thai fashion the sidewalk was barely a suggestion and as I hit the edge of the main district it disappeared… conveniently enough I was walking past the area hospital at least. Down a side street I found Ban Aew Pai, a small garden guest house with 6 or 7 bungalows. It was a picturesque place that seemed like it would be far enough from the noise.

I’d reached the point in the trip where I was kind of aching for some non-thai food so once I’d settled in I took a walk back into the hustle and bustle to try to find food/make some plans. Armed with a hopefully still valid recommendation from my old Thailand lonely planet I set out past bar after bar and eventually reached Maya burger which served a really solid little quarter pound burg with good toppings and crispy fries paired with a delicious garlic mayo. It was definitely a product of the moment but also pretty delicious in its own right. I blame that feeling of contentment for the foolishness that occurred next.

I was honestly trying to do some rafting… unfortunately the only one day trip was done as a one day ‘back to chiang mai’ trip and basically would have been doing the same trip I’d done a few days previous but with my bags being taken along in a van. Honestly had I been aware of it I would have considered it. The only trip the other adventuring company had going out the following day was a trek into the jungle. Don’t get me wrong, I’d been thinking I’d do some hiking in Pai… and in my defence their listing for this trip was a bald faced lie… but still I was mental. I blame my brain for focusing on the ‘finishes at a waterfall’ part. I stayed out for a while people watching but after a couple of drinks I was ready to just retreat for the night given the impending early start.


The day started with a pickup in a Songthaew (pickup truck with two parallel benches in the back) and we immediately headed north further along the Mae Hong Son loop. I’m not a person given to motion sickness but if I’d thought the minibus ride the day before was bad sitting perpendicular to the driving direction in a vehicle with only the barest suggestion of shock absorbers was a new level. It turns out were were travelling a solid couple hours out to the start of the hike (something else I’d missed on the brochure.) Along for the ride were a young British couple and a Spanish woman a few years older than myself. We introduced ourselves and chatted a bit but as the drive progressed and the road got worse conversation became more difficult. The British contingent was definitely feeling the motion sickness by the time we finished and I was honestly keeping an eye on him getting ready to dodge if he lunged for the tailgate.

Arriving in a small village our guide welcomed us and we met the other two hikers with us: two Slovenian girls who were doing a two day hike and who’d overnight-ed in the village. They were very nice but set off the first warning bells when they mentioned they’d definitely hiked way longer than the brochure said the day before. I didn’t really get much time to process that before we were on our way, touring the village and seeing the old style homes where the livestock was penned under the stilted cottages/huts and dogs wagged their tales at us but mostly just stayed in the shade. It was an interesting glimpse of a very different way of life to ours but I laughed pretty hard at the one guy who shouted out to our guide in greeting and he responded with ‘I go trekking, you come?’ and the guy said something that was pretty clearly ‘hell no’ in Thai. With that settled we started heading up into the hills.

Most of the people reading this blog are also prairie people and have probably also experienced the harsh realization that, no matter how good of shape you’re in, your legs are gonna complain when you’re suddenly expecting your legs to do this ‘uphill crap.’ I actually held up pretty well for the first half of the hike and was having to slow down to wait for the Slovenian girls a few times. The first stage of the path was clearly a livestock path and we used ladders to get over fencing a few times and frequently had to dodge cow pats, then a bit later the cows themselves. The views backwards as we climbed up the valley were phenomenal, unfortunately the rest of the hike mostly avoided any great view points.

When we eventually reached the top of the first mountain ridge and took a rest and water break. We all marveled at our guide Jon doing this hike in what looked like dollar store foam flip flops but to be honest he probably could have done it barefoot. Once moving again Jon pointed into a valley a few km away and pointed out his village. A few minutes later he also pointed out Myanmar literally just between the next two mountains, at our closest point we were only a few kilometers away. As much as I’d love to add another country to my scoreboard I don’t think that’s a border I particular want to mess with for funzies.

The brochure for the hike had said 12km of ‘medium’ difficulty as we did the next section I felt very lied to. I don’t consider a half hour climb up giant loose boulders to be ‘medium’ myself we were all dying at the top even Maria the Spanish gazelle. Thankfully the giant cave at the end of this was well worth ascent view wise but I was still puffing hard. When he started moving us onward and I realized we were climbing the rest of the way to the top of that particular mountain I began to get worried, not just that we were still going up but that everyone but Maria was showing signs of serious leg fatigue in the brief moments we were heading downhill, stumbling or wobbling a fair bit. Thankfully it was around this time that Jon called a halt and we had lunch which turned out to be various bags of noodles and rice for the vegan, veg and carnivore among us. Mine was a really nice spicy curry chicken and rice, the 2-days girls who’d had that the day before got noodles instead.


The second half of the day was a bit less rough in terms of elevation up… but definitely stretched the definition of medium difficulty even more as after an initial section which Jon said was on old time road through the area (as well as some caves that he described as being hidey holes during wars with Burma) we headed on another path that was NOT a path for a solid 90minutes. Very narrow footholds, most of us grabbing at bamboo for support that may or may not still be solid, steep downhills that tested tired ankles and knees, it was rough. I’d done pretty well heat stroke wise this trip but was definitely feeling it a bit over the last 1/3. The outwardly fitter of the Slovenian girls had it worse however whenever we went downhill and she was probably nursing a sore hamstring.

For the most part our guide was great but over the last third of the hike he definitely pushed the pace a bit too fast. He seemed to be going by the pace Maria could set which was great… except Maria is a hiking nut that goes trekking in the Pyrenees every weekend all summer. The other five of us were struggling to keep up especially when the trail disappeared for the most part. At one point he called out ok next part flat then down (spoiler: it wasn’t flat, but it was open and sunny) and we were on the last stretch. The Slovenian girl groaned audibly at the start of another downhill section and I kept having to wait on her as she stopped as the trail was too slippery to pass by anyone safely. She eventually coaxed a promise from Jon that it was only another ten minutes… lies. The actual ten minute mark was where the serious pain began for all of us as it was a steep switchback where at times you were basically shuffle running from one tree to another… but in the end we all made it.

At some point Jon had explained to us that we’d actually take the truck to the waterfall as it was nearby but not right here, then end of our hike had us wading across a river at a washed out bridge location. Again it was dry season so I wondered what this river looked like a few months from now but Jon took our bags across for us and the rest of us just enjoyed cooling off and tried not to let the current sweep our tired legs out from under us. I’d stupidly forgotten to bring my water socks with me but eventually managed to struggle across the gravel to the truck once on dry land.

Don’t get me wrong, the hike was beautiful and I’m proud that I accomplished it (mostly) in one piece. I definitely question the person who wrote that brochure as I think it was probably the easiest it was all year right now and the brochure definitely doesn’t change for rainy season (basically all she did on my printout was cross off ‘raincoat’ on the list of items to bring.) I think with even a little bit of mud on that trail it would be fully hard for the full length and even as I would have called 1/2 of it ‘difficult’ terrain. It was also rather disappointing on the viewpoint front. The front half had a few good views, the cave was neat but the last half was mostly close in jungle/bamboo forest

The road from the trail end to the waterfall was godawful (it would be worse on the way out) but we were all still savouring the ride… given the waterfall apparently didn’t involve hiking I was a little worried it would be overrun with tour groups but I’d forgotten just how far we were from anywhere. We had it to ourselves and pretty happily dove in and fought the current over to get a solid massage by waterfall. I laughed pretty hard as the Slovenian girls pretty quickly got out shivering. I wouldn’t call the water warm but it was certainly not cold… I even said when they came back over ‘at least I can trust the brits not to think this is cold water’ and they laughed.

Back on the truck we drove out on one of the worst roads of my life, forded a number of rivers and coughed up so much fine dust into the semi open bed that any cleaning factor we’d felt from the falls was gone instantly we all felt caked with dirt. Given how bad the shower had turned out to be at my guesthouse I was steeling myself for an unpleasant wash. Just before we arrived at the main road we passed through one of the ‘Chinese villages’ a cluster of ancestral Chinese people that have elements of Chinese architecture in their dwellings and who often speak only mandarin apparently.

Back along the road Jon pointed out some of the ridges we’d crossed that seemed now impossibly high up but we quickly settled into a stupor until our pee break. I unfortunately was feeling a bit heatstruck so was concentrating on avoiding motion sickness and basically pounding water, even Maria eventually wedged her tiny frame into the bench seat by some magic and tried to sleep. I made it feeling better, but when the twists and turns ended and we pulled up to my place I said quick goodbyes and hobbled over to my room… making it to the toilet just in time to lose my lunch. Luckily I could just roll over into the shower stall and start hosing off the grime of the trail after that and thankfully was feeling more human after that and an hour or so laying in bed.

This was still Khao Soi country and I’d spotted a street stall the night before making up delicious looking bowls of it the night before so once my appetite returned I found the stall, pulled up a baby stool at the tiny picnic table ordered a gorgeous bowl of it for the equivalent of $4. Sadly that’s actually expensive much like the burger the day before at around $10, Pai prices were definitely of the ‘captive audience’ variety compared to Chiang Mai but I also knew things would be worse in the islands next. I’d love to pretend I stayed up doing something fun but nope, I browsed the walking street for a bit and bought a tee shirt but it didn’t take long before I grabbed some water and a bag of chips at 7-Eleven and headed back to bed. I think I made a token attempt at watching a QI episode and passed out partway through.


The next morning I wasn’t feeling as bad as I’d feared. There was stiffness (and some blisters) but I was mobile. I’d wanted to sleep in but despite the night noise not being bad this hotel’s soundproofing was truly abysmal and before 8am rolled around I could hear a chainsaw running somewhere, roosters crowing and martial music playing as well as some sort of rhythmic drum. I’d made no firm plans but unfortunately if you want to get anywhere around Pai you kind of need a scooter so I broke a personal rule and rented one. The roads were relatively less mental around here Thailand wise and it was also the day of the ‘all day float dj tubing party’ so most of the drunk and stoned teeny boppers were on the river and not on the roads.

I headed up to one of the other places I’d wanted to see here: Pai Canyon. It’s less a canyon and more an eroded formation on a ridgeline but the maze of pathways and steep drop offs is quite pretty. I didn’t do the full hike as it was full sun and I didn’t want to push it after the day before but had a good poke around. Hilariously the Thai tourist authority uses the phrase ‘the area is vast, similar to the grand canyon’ which takes some chutzpah.

The other place I travelled up to was the white buddha lookout which ‘you can drive right to it’ turned out to be quite the lie. It turned out you could drive right up to the base of the 500 or so steps up to the buddha. I guess they meant you could bypass the windy bit of road up to the gate which wasn’t a great walking road. I’d been told the view was worth it but I was not sure I had it in me and sat talking to the temple dogs for a bit before I mustered up the effort required. I grumbled but the view from the top was worth the climb, the Buddha statue definitely needs some TLC though. From the top of the stairs you got a panoramic view of the valley seeing just how tiny Pai was as well as the windy roads leaving in both directions.

Once down from the temple I had to make sure I returned my scooter. Technically I had it 24 hours but my bus out was leaving at 7 the following morning and I had a relatively early flight to catch from CM so I needed to be on it. The rest of the night was mostly people watching as I grabbed a curry and kind of marveled. I was definitely very in between ages on the audience here. As mentioned most of the crowd was gap year teens and early 20s types, a few slightly older hippie yoga instructor types… then there was a small but solid hunk of retirement age people visiting and staying in the nicer places and wandering the town for a bit before bed. I’m guessing they were more doing the short waterfall hikes/visiting the hot springs. Unfortunately while I made it through my own travels without injury I got run into a scooter when a combo of an inexperienced (drunk? rider) coincided with someone stumbling against me on the sidewalk and I’ve now got a fairly nasty gash and a couple of scrapes in my otherwise sore leg… Despite doing a very good job cleaning it I’m (now over a week later) still nursing it and have since had to go see a doctor and make sure it’s not infected/get an x-ray. Blue Cross is going to stop insuring me for Thailand as it’s the only place I ever make a claim on my travel insurance.

I tried to make it an early night but I now had a new neighbour next door and they were simultaneously very heavy footed and when they came back at two am I could distinctly hear them running to use and slamming the toilet seat multiple times though thankfully couldn’t hear any actual bodily fluid noises. Something about the construction of these cottages transmits sound through the beams I think. Unfortunately between that, other noises and the stress of having to be up early to make the transfer to that flight I think I only got about two hours sleep which probably compounded the ‘second day after’ pain from the hike. But, the transfer to the islands is a tail for next time.

Honestly Pai was interesting but I don’t think I’d ever go back. I feel like you could get equivalent hikes elsewhere with better vibes and less of a hippie spring break vibe. Sort of the same vibe I have with Khao San in Bangkok… I don’t mind being near the area but unlike Bangkok there really isn’t much else in Pai to get around the core of that. Going further out that road loop more independently would be fun, I don’t think I’m young and dumb enough to do the whole thing on a motorbike anymore though. If I can ever get someone to come with me it’s probably worth splitting a private driver for a multi day trip given such things don’t break the bank here.

Still I don’t regret it as I wanted some new experiences this trip which is where the back half of this program comes in. It’s now time for the ocean adjacent portion of proceedings in our next post.

Cambodacious

Angkor Sunrise

Those of you who are CJS grads of my era will remember an incredibly frustrating project in Core “English” class called your life list. For those that aren’t basically it was a bucket list of (I think) one hundred things you wanted to do before you die. It was an incredibly stupid project that we spent a ludicrous amount of time on in senior year. Now don’t get me wrong, I think getting kids of that age to at least pay some cursory attention to that sort of concept isn’t a bad idea but:

This project required 100 ‘Meaningful’ things you wanted to do in your life AND was going to be posted in public in high school, I don’t know about you but that meant nothing EXTREMELY personal was going on there. As with most of my friends I was grasping at straws after a few dozen… by 70-100 I was straight up making crap up. No 17/18 year old has or even should have 100 goals yet, we’re still discovering who we’re going to be as an adult.

The thing for me is that a big portion of the project involved displaying your 100 things in some meaningful way, some of us just did a poster with some sort of random hook to it (mine was a trombone and my items were on music notes I think?) and some people went ridiculously overboard. I forget how much this project was worth but I recall it being a not insignificant mark in a required ‘english’ course that was essentially being given out for how meaningful my dreams were and my skill at elementary school arts and crafts.

Yes I am still bitter about this (and other things about that class, never got my credits for gunther!) 20+ years later. Sure glad I spent that time on that instead of you know… my real english class that taught me how to write well for university… or Physics! It may not surprise you to note that I believe my parents talked to this teacher at PTIs and were told something like “Tristan does not hide his disdain well and needs to stop rolling his eyes.”

That said… this giant rant serves as a preamble to the fact that one of my legit number one things on that stupid list was “See the sun rise at Angkor Wat” and by god I checked it off. You’re welcome 17 year old me!


Let’s back up a bit though. My mostly nice stay at the Bamboo ended on a bit of a sour note as I realized the maids had thrown out or taken my packing bags. Thankfully I wasn’t so overpacked that it was an issue. As previously discussed in the blog I’d sprung for some air travel to pack as much as possible into the last week and a half. So while it’s theoretically possible to go directly to cambodia from the Phu Quoc area, it involves a fair bit of time on a bus, extended border transition times and then transfering in Phnom Penh to get to where I wanted to be in Siem Reap. It just made more sense to fly there via a quick hop back to HCMC then onward to Siem Reap, then direct from Siem Reap back to Hanoi for my flight home. Thankfully the flights lined up quite well and I was delay free and ended up touching down in Cambodia around 4pm.

First off, Siem Reap has an adorable airport that seemed very new. The other main reason for making sure I got to Cambodia this trip was that I’d sprung for the extra money for a multiple entry Vietnam visa. The Cambodian visa on the other hand was pay on arrival in USD. After getting extorted with a $5 fee at an atm for some yankeebux (I’d spent my reserve the week before paying Dr. Phu.) I stood in the brief line with the other foreigners to pay (most of the plane had been full of locals and Vietnamese who don’t require a visa) I waited for my name to be called. Despite being warned that they have trouble with western names and to pay attention it still took me 3 calls before I realized that Arz-ee was me. Turnabout is fair play and all with how I no doubt butchered the names of everything I tried 😉 Somewhat hilariously the dude asked if I wanted to skip the line, I remembered reading in my guidebook that five bucks can usually get you ahead, but turning around at a mostly empty customs hall I told him I’d take my chances and was in fact through in about 3 minutes. I suppose that scam works better when there are planeloads of chinese tour groups but about a quarter of the arrivals board was cancelled flights that day.

I’d booked in at an eco-guesthouse that offered free airport pickup and the very smiley Mr. Thon was waiting for me with a sign. Stuffing me and my bag onto his Cambodian style tuktuk (essentially a regular motorcycle with a permanent trailer) he took me into the city proper with a running commentary that I could hear about 50% of over the rush of the wind. He told me it was a shame I was here this week instead of next as the new Angkor Eye (a large ferris wheel in the vein of a smaller London Eye) was opening the following week. As we got closer to our destination I wondered if he was taking me somewhere to be killed as we zigzagged across bridges and through lanes until finally turning down a dead end path that…. surprisingly was lined with guest houses out of nowhere.

My place was called the Babel Guesthouse and is run as sustainably as possible by a Norwegian Couple. The lobby contains a shop full of various Hippie home and beauty products, the idea being to refill rather than buy more plastic. This extended to water bottle which is an ethos I can get behind to a point… except that their public refill bottle was just under a thin cloth cover. If you’re going to want me to not buy water it needs to be at least somewhere in the zip code of cold. I’d been places in Thailand that did the same and they had ceramic jackets they could put over the bottles with a bit of ice to keep the water significantly colder. Other than that it was a fairly nice place with a small courtyard bar where you could watch soccer and get a drink/food. The breakfast was apparently nice but I never partook as it wasn’t free and I was usually out of there too early anyway.

After checking in and arranging my (gulp) sunrise excusion to Angkor Wat the next day I set out to explore the town and get some food. Siem Reap is not a particularly large city, somewhere in the neighbourhood of 100k people though of course usually swollen with tourists. While it was busy enough, I walked past several large hotels that looked mostly empty and even one that appeared to be shut down. Crossing over the canal that bisects the city I by chance spotted a restaurant called Chorney Tree that was highly rated in my guidebook and pulled up a chair and I was absolutely famished after skipping lunch.

Last year when I was in Berkeley for a wedding with my food friends we went to a cambodian place for dinner one night and we were all blown away by the flavours. In a trip I knew would be filled with a ton of great food I was probably looking forward to Cambodia the most. That first meal was phenomenal. Beef loc lac (tender thin pieces of marinated beef served with a bright tasting lime and black pepper sauce, crispy fried egg, rice and veggies) and a steamed egg and pork bao. Even later in the evening it was still very hot so relaxing with a great meal under a whirling fan was lovely, especially washing it down with a beer and a fruit smoothie as well as some crispy banana chips made with those amazingly sweet se asian bananas.

Walking a bit further after dinner I discovered the main Siem Reap night market and pub street which is basically tourist central after dark. There is a proper market but it’s surrounded by all sorts of restaurants, numerous upper floor bars blaring at each other across narrow alleys and even a kickboxing/wrestling ‘arena’ (there is apparently a full sized kickboxing arena in town as well that has more traditional events.) I had a quick look around but as I’d arranged to leave for the temples at 4:30 the next morning I went to bed basically the moment I thought there was a chance of sleeping.


Man four A.M. is early, especially when you’re in vacation mode. I mean I’d mostly been getting up at a reasonable hour this trip due to none of the hotels having blackout curtains or being particularly well soundproofed… but 4 is another matter entirely. Up, showered and (quasi) awake I made my way out front where my driver was waiting with a similar tuk tuk to the one I’d taken the day before. Bleary eyed as I was I didn’t actually make note of any of its identifying features which was an issue later. By 4:45 we’d arrived at the Angkor ticket office for the national park which contains the temples. Nominally it opens at 5am but I guess they start a bit early, unfortunately I didn’t notice the small sign that said the 1 and 3 day passes were different lines and only just managed to change lines before the first of the tourbuses arrived and started disgorging more hordes behind me. One can only imagine how much busier it would have been with another 10 buses with Chinese folks. Tickets are fairly pricey, but one can imagine they’re the main way the conservation is funded so I’m a-ok with that. It was $62 us for a three day pass so I grabbed one despite not being sure if I’d be doing that much time.

Cleaning the moat of weeds

It was still pitch black as he ran me down the road towards the park entrance and it was with fairly vague directions that I was pointed at Angkor Wat itself but even ahead of the main crowd there was a trickle of visitors confirming I was heading the right way and eventualy I found myself at the edge of the moat water. February is firmly in Cambodia’s hot and dry season and space at the water’s edge was at a bit of a premium but I was still kind of shocked at how many people were trying to cram around the water in hopes of grabbing a reflection shot of the sunrise. It was a fairly long wait and as dawn approached swarms more people arrived and people started demanding those in front get down. Unfortunately I was standing in mud but managed to find a dry spot because there was no way my knees were going to handly crouching for 45 minutes. Occasionally people up front stood to stretch or take a shot and some loudmouth Australian who had just arrived kept yelling out crap about ‘sit down, do you think you’re special’ or the like. I mean I get it, let’s try and let as many people enjoy the best view possible but give people a break. Eventually he yelled ‘Your mother would be ashamed of you’ and I yelled back something in the vein of “my mother taught me to be places on time” and got a few claps and cheers from folks at the front.

Detail Starts to become visible

Sunrise itself was slow in coming but absolutely magical. For the most part people kept their yaps shut once it arrived and you just heard the occasional hushed whisper or whirr of a camera shutter. I can’t really described it but those ancient towers slowly coming into view in front of the growing dawn light made it easy to imagine you’d been transported through time.

Once dawn had well and truly arrived I gave in to my aches (should have done this when you were younger T) and got up and walked around the moat towards the main temple. Angkor Wat is the only one of the temples in the region to have been continually used since being built (in the 12th century originally as a Hindu temple) and is thus the best preserved. It’s also the largest single religious monument in the world.

Relief Carvings

I’d actually walked in complete darkness over the floating bridge that is replacing the causeway during repairs and through the 5km long outer wall but now that daylight was here the galleries and inner area were opened and I could explore in earnest. The pure symetry of the place is what strikes you first after you start to comprehend the sheer scale.

Tower and Terrace

In addition to the spires and long raised galleries Angkor Wat is famous for the intricate bas-reliefs that adorn the walls. The most famous of these is the ‘churning of the ocean of milk’ a representation of the reinvigoration of the universe comprising dozens of painstakingly carved asuras and devas.

Churning of the Milk

Interestingly a lot of the modern restoration work has focused on cleaning out or reimplementing the original drainage and cleaning systems from construction as earlier restoration efforts caused as much damage as they fixed. Other efforts involve keeping plant life at bay, more on that later.

Steepness

I spent what felt like ages exploring the place but it was still quite early when I made my way back towards the floating bridge and discovered that while I had a vague idea of what my driver looked like I had zero idea which of a probably fifty tuktuks was mine. Eventually I spotted a dude in a red shirt in the distance which turned out to be my driver Tam. This time I made sure I looked at the ad on the back of the seat to better spot it later.

A couple KM north lies the south gate of Angkor Thom, once the capital of the Khmer empire until it was later sacked by the Ayuthaya kingdom of Siam/Thailand. Unlike Angkor Wat this was an actual townsite and large number of people lived here before it was abandoned, though most of the later buildings were not stone and don’t survive today. What remains is gorgeous though, a number of temples and terraces in noticeably different styles.

Bridge View

The main temple of Bayon, probably the second most famous after Angkor Wat itself had a number of monkeys hanging around outside. They were surprisingly unpushy though there were a few warnings around about being careful. Though in much poorer shape than some other temples (and currently undergoing a major restoration effort of the upper levels) there’s still a vast maze of passages to discover. The towers carved with massive faces are very impressive.

Bayon Towers
Bayon – Center of Angkor Thom
Some guy on a bridge

From there I snaked through and walked the long causeway to the Baphuon temple which was one of the few you could climb to the top (up some absolutely mentally steep wooden stairs that covered the originals for preservation purposes.)

View from top of Baphuon back down the Causeway
Causeway to Baphuon in Angkor Thom

Phimeanakas was just to the north of there and was apparently the royal palace area for much of the era of the city. It’s guarded by the terrace of the elephants from which one could once see the royal processions from the victory gate.

Baphuon

A quick stop for lunch and a giant bottle of water helped me recharge a bit as the full heat of the day had arrived and it was probably pushing 35c with not much of a breeze to speak of. I was glad I’d had some time to adjust to the heat before getting here.

Some of the more sheltered carvings have been well preserved

Our next stop was Ta Prohm, known as the Tomb Raider temple due to being used to film several sequences in the original Jolie film adapatation of the game. This is one of the temples where the conservation work has focused on maintaining the balance between invading nature and keeping the temples whole. Large trees and vines grown around, through and actually on the temple buildings and walls and if you catch a courtyard at a deserted moment it’s easy to imagine you’ve just emerged from the jungle to find a forgotten ruin.

Ta Promh with a tree growing on top of (not through) the temple
Ta Promh the Tomb Raider temple

We Finished the first day’s exploration at Banteay Kdei and Sra Srang. Banteay Kdei was a monastery but is in poor repair now, apparently due to using lower quality stone than many of the other monuments. Sra Srang is a large resevoir with terraces which was used as a bathing area for the royal family and every time I went by it on this trip there were a number of kids swimming.

My driver offered to drop me off at pub street and I agreed thinking a drink and a snack might be nice, but when he forgot and took me back to the hotel I sucumbed to the lure of a shower and a nap. I must admit it was nice that the guesthouse had their own crew of trusted drivers, they make a point of paying them a solid wage (it probably cost about 30% more than if I’d hired a random person) but the guys did a good job at steering you around properly, dropping you at the right place and time to avoid as much of the crowds as possible and chimed in with the occasional fact that added some context.

Khmer spiced chicken and spring rolls

Once I’d recharged I walked back over to the night market and explored more thoroughly before eventually ending up down a side street at a tiny place that smelled amazing when I stopped to look at the menu. The resulting meal was almost as good as the night before, Khmer Spiced chicken skewers and ultra crispy spring rolls. Walking back I noticed a movie theatre which just like the ones in Vietnam was essentially a giant chaotic motorbike garage under the teeniest of lobbies and a couple screening rooms. I finished the night in a random bar along the pub street having a couple drinks and just people watching now that it had cooled down a bit.

Pub Street

I’m pretty sure I was out the moment I hit the pillow though with the nap I did manage to stay awake until a reasonable hour, thankfully day two was going to start a bit later.

Carnaval, Nuns and the Russian Madeiran

The stress letdown of finally having our bags, our clothes, our toiletries meant we finally slept soundly that night. Saturday morning we even had a solid sleep in and fairly quickly decided to just have a relaxing day (the courtesy bus wasn’t running but we later discovered that the city buses worked pretty well for the area.) After some toast we headed down to sit by our pool (and overlooking the cliffs) and relaxed with our books for a couple hours. It was gorgeous and sunny (around 23c I believe) and we ended up trying the (outdoor) pool but it was completely unheated and was sitting a a temperature closer to the normal ‘winter’ temps for Madeira so it was pretty much West Hawk on May Long/Lake Superior type cold. Had a quick swim to stretch out my hip that’s been giving me problems again since my tailbone accident but didn’t linger in there super long.

We’d noticed on google and on our bus ride down that there was a german restaurant up the hill and we thought some schnitzel might be a good ‘different’ dinner. Unfortunately after huffing it up a few levels we found the place was closed (we saw activity later so it seems like they likely open March 1st like some other things here.) In the end we ended up at another Madeiran/Portuguese place close to the hotel. It was in the Garden of an older small hotel and seemed in fact to partially built into the oldest part of the hotel. The kitchen seemed to be in two converted rooms and the bar could easily have been a former lobby. Though we didn’t have anything that required it, many of the meat came on giant skewers where the waiter would come to your table and set up a stand then hang your meat from it. It was sort of halfway to the Brazillian steakhouse method. Our choices ended up being tasty and after a lovely meal (and mother indulging in her 2352nd fancy coffee of the trip) we retired for some cards. It was a nice recharge day after going hard since arriving.

Parade A-Frame

This period (it seems to vary by the individual town) is the start of Carnaval here on the island. We’d booked what was called a tour but ended up mostly being a mildly guided shuttle to one of the more traditional towns on the Northeast part of Madeira to see one of their events. Apparently their festival is sort of a local thing adapted into a carnaval thing once that became a ‘thing’ so it goes by a few names. The highlight was what we were told was a ‘children’s parade’ that was actually just an incredibly slow moving parade of bands, children’s dance groups, floats with local pastoral scenes (an active building of a teeny a-frame traditional house for one) and agricultural things.

Parade Weirdness

Parade Bands

We enjoyed the wackyness for a bit then as the parade finished explored the town square which had some sort of entertainment going on (it seemed very talky but people were enjoying it.) Everywhere around the square there were booths with food and drink, almost exclusively Poncha, Bolo de Caco (portuguese flatbread wrapped around various meats/cheeses/garlic butter) and skewers of beef pork or chicken cooked over embers. As is the norm in europe you could carry your hooch around so we sampled a few things then made our way back up to the bus and town.

Traditional Madeiran A-Frame House

Town Square

Going to and coming back from Santana we got our first good look at the far end of the airport from the ground and it’s absolutely incredible. Tons of concrete pillars holding up the entire runway extension most around 70m high according to wikipedia. Between the limited space and the winds here it’s easy to see why it’s in the top 10 most dangerous airports in the world.

Not my image but you get the idea…

Settling back in at happy hour we ran into the same couple that had commiserated with us on friday night and got a recommendation for a different tour company/made a booking. I also scouted out what looked like an interesting russian run cafe nearby while snagging some drinks/chips for the room.

Monday was another day of gorgeous weather and we were thankful as we had booked a tour to go up to what’s called Curral das Freiras or the Nun’s valley. Though we actually started the day popping into Funchal and having breakfast back at our favourite bakery and stocking up on bread for back at the suite. We also explored the absolutely gorgeous Se Cathedral in Funchal which is simulaneously grand and impressive while still maintaining aspects of being a fisherman’s/working man’s place of worship.

Se Cathedral

I’ve been to plenty of hilly or mountainous places in my time but Madeira is definitely the most ridiculously and suddenly up and down. The relatively recent volcanic origin seems to be to blame for the incredibly sharp ridgelines that appear in certain areas. Nowhere we travelled was this more evident that the way up to Nun’s valley. Overlooking the town itself is a hotel and overlook high high up on a ridgeline and accessible by what used to be the main road into town before one of the major tunnel projects of recent years created a giant ramp tunnel. It’s absolutely amazing how sudden and severe the dropoff is and it was odd to climb up to the lookout then look down on birds soaring high above the town but still hundreds of feet below us.

Curral das Freiras from the overlook

The town itself is best known as a cultivator of chestnuts on the island and they produce chestnut cakes, chestnut liqueurs, roasted chestnuts etc. There is even a chestnut museum and a festival at the end of summer. It’s not a particularly exciting town other than it’s picturesque location so after a quick look around we grabbed a drink and a slice of cake (without checking the prices) and I had a bit of a heart attack after as I realized it had cost us the equivalent of $27.50cdn. Ah captive tourist pricing at it’s finest (though desert in general is quite pricey at restaurants here, part of the reason we’ve mostly stuck to bakery treats like our fave custard tarts.)

The valley road downward from the overlook

Arriving back in Funchal we managed to just make our transfer and got back to the hotel to realize that we’d never had lunch other than the cake… but also weren’t actually that hungry. I suggested we try one of the restaurants down the hill towards the water and we ended up wanting something light. We ended up at the place I’d bought drinks at the other night. Though presented as a “snack bar” and having aspects of a minimart/liquor store too, the cafe portion was fantastic. I spotted something called “russian ravioli” on the menu and asked the owner if they were Pelmeni. He seemed instantly enthusiastic that I knew what they were and told me they were handmade in house as was his sour cream (something I imagine would be difficult to find in madeira otherwise.) They were in a word… heavenly. Ultrathin dough, mix of beef and pork and spices, juicy and flavourful and served in a little clay pot. The place is owned by ex-pat Russians (mother and son) and it showed as they were the best pelmeni I’ve ever had in Portugal of all places. Alex (the son) insisted on giving me a free (very large) shot of vodka that I ‘HAD TO’ drink before eating the Pelmeni.

After our meal he also insisted we take some free dessert treats home and invited us to his friday violin concert which sadly we couldn’t make as we leave thursday. One of the local soccer teams was playing against Sporting Lisbon while we were there and a number of locals were enjoying the game which somehow lead to Alex and I talking about hockey. Turns out he’d seen Calgary touring in Russia as a younger lad and had loved my all time favourite player Theo Fleury, small world.

Krabi? No I’m feeling fine.

Ao Phang Nga area

It was tempting to take a boat from Phuket when I departed but in the end I decided to cheap out a bit and take the just as quick inland route as it gave me more flexibility of departure and was much cheaper (in the end I did about 80% of the boat route anyway when coming back.) Getting back to the bus station was the same level of extortionate taxi time but at least this time the man mostly knew where he was going. An hour or so later I was on an a/c bus for Krabi Town.

One of the things you notice hurtling through the countryside on one of these buses (aside from the deathwishes of people driving various motorcycle based contraptions) is the massive variety of dwelling. It’s rare (in this portion of the country at least) to go long without seeing some form of abode, but you’ll pass an ancient looking miniscule house obviously still in use… then immediately there will be a large almost western looking house on a perfectly manicured lawn… followed by a row of shophouses then a plantation of some sort. In some cases these clusters coincide with what you might call a town, others they appear to just be randomly at some point along a highway.

The obsession with gates and walls is a very different thing culturally from home as well. Pretty much every government building is surrounded by a (usually spotless) pale wall with a large concrete gilded sign advertising that it’s something like “Regional Court for Young Persons.” My guess would be that the government has gone on a building spree of late given the number of these similar structures around. The gate thing is definitely mystifying at times though. From talking to a chatty lady on the bus who wanted to practice her english I gather that it’s a combination of things. Gates are the first thing your guests see so they have a connotation of status as well as symbolism to many buddhists. I’ve got to say though, I saw a ridiculous number of schools (both in Bangkok and rural thailand) with elaborate beautiful gates that look like they cost more than had been spent in the previous two decades on the maintenance of the school buildings behind them.

The road to Krabi passed back through the costal flats and around Phang Nga bay then south along the coast between the various limestone karst mounts that seem to be looming gorgeously everywhere here in this part of the peninsula. Krabi Town (to distinguish it from its eponymous province) is a small city on an inlet that serves as a transport gateway to a good chunk of the lower andaman coast. Visually it’s not super exciting and the bus terminal is annoyingly far away from the town proper. Thankfully I knew I could hop a Sorng-taa-ou (pickup truck pseudo bus/taxi) rather than pay a cab though the bus driver clearly got a payoff as he made us get off at a taxi/travel stand 250m from the bus station. The others and I nearly immediately spotted a pickup though and so got into town for about 80 cents vs the $10 the cabbie wanted. A short (somewhat terrifying due to a very sketchy looking railing) ride later and I was in the center of Krabi heading for a cheap guest house and eager for a bite as I hadn’t had time to grab more than a bag of (delicious spicy basil) lay’s for the trip.

The guest house was more or less as advertised, around $20 for a single room with a giant (if not particularly soft) bed and shared toilets/shower (a reasonable and spotless tiled room with multiple stalls of each shared with 5 other rooms.) The wifi was strong (and free, something that continues to be a welcome change from the last big trip) and there was food downstairs if you wanted and a pseudo 7/11 on the next corner. More than good enough for a one night stop.

In the short section on Krabi my guidebook more or less said “you have to go eat at the night market” and boy was it right, especially given it was a 3 minute walk from the guest house. Essentially a large farmer’s market food court except every vendor is serving delicious thai specialties at ridiculous prices. Almost nothing over 3-4 bucks a dish for a single serving. It was ludicrous trying to pick a place and in the end it was more or less at random. I grabbed a giant fruit shake, ordered some Tom Kha Gai and arandom curry I hadn’t tried yet and was shown to one of the variety of tables on the riverfront. The book was right, this was clearly the place to eat. There were probably 100ish tables and the tourists were outnumbered by locals to fill most of them. Facing the row of carts were a nearly constant stream of Sorng-taa-ou, taxi, delivery and tuk tuk drivers all stopping for a brief dinner before continuing their shifts.

Krabi Night Market

I have no idea how they kept track of who was sitting where and who owed what but I didn’t have to pre-pay. Eventually a different woman from that cart/kitchen came and found me in the warren of tables and deposited my first dish before eventually returning with the second. Incidentally that’s definitely one thing you have to get used to at the more local places here… courses some more or less randomly and never all at once. The more western places may try and have things arrive semi simultaneously but it’s rare elsewhere. If you want your spring rolls first best order them and wait to order the rest for a few minutes as well. The food was amazing and the atmosphere even better. It had finally cooled down a bit and the breeze off the inlet/river at my back was carrying the smells from other tables over to me. Every single dish I saw carried by looked better than the last and if I hadn’t been so completely stuffed I would have ordered another one. The one mystery to me was how one paid as I wasn’t really in eyeline of the cart but also didn’t see anyone wandering up to carts to pay (though I did later find out that’s acceptable too.) Eventually though the woman who had sat me down brought another person over in my direction and I flagged her down and got everything settled.

Krabi Night Market Juice Man

At that point I decided to go for a walk along the riverfront, found the dock from which I’d be leaving the next morning then walked a bit farther up in the other direction and grabbed a beer at a quiet bar and just enjoyed the change in scenery. On the way back to the guesthouse I passed the night market again and decided I’d walked off enough of dinner to indulge in what they called a banana pancake with nutella (or roti depending on the cart) which was more of a crispy pan fried crepe with sliced banana topped with a bit of nutella and chopped into bite size pieces. That finished me off for the night and after a long shower I fell asleep reading in bed not long after.

 

 

Relaxation Achieved: Fun and Food in Patong, Phuket

In 2004 at Christmas I was visiting my aunt and uncle in California with my parents and grandmother. We spent a good chunk of boxing day watching the horrifying videos of the tsunami coming in at various places in this region of the Indian Ocean. Now, having been here (this beach being one of the hard hit places in Thailand) it’s even easier to imagine how scary it must have been. Rewatching one video obviously taken not terribly far from my hotel you can just see that relentless rising tide slamming everything and everyone out of its way into the front line of buildings. You can see how many people believe the death toll would have been much worse even a few hours later here as the christmas revellers woke from their hangovers and headed to the beach. Now of course Thailand has its fancy new warning system and whatnot but it’s still sobering to think about as you walk down past the “Tsunami Evac Zone” signs to the beachfront.

Today Patong is an odd place. It’s massively developed by thai standards (more or less the entire bay is filled beachfront to hills) but to us Canadians more used to the Mexico and the Carribean it seems less so. For starters there are few hotels directly on the beach and indeed few businesses directly on the beach. The latter is apparently because of another thai government crackdown that comes and goes but it’s certainly nice to be able to find shady spots at the top of a beach not covered in some hotel’s deck chairs. The actual beachfront in Patong town proper is more akin to a European resort area or say the area along the Malecon in Puerto Vallarta (though that is pretty Spain itself.) A few small hotels and guest houses, not many over 3 stories high mixed with souvenir shops and restaurants and all seperated from the beach area by a busy road. There is a thin strip of land mostly devoid of businesses between the road and beach some of which looks as though it is remnants of pre tsunami decorations (paths that are worn away/dead end for example.) The larger hotels tend to be a couple streets back from the seaside and none are particularly huge. There are a few taller towers in the town center area but none seem particularly new. Fancier hotel with older guests wise the new trend seems to be building out on the cliffs north of town where there is a smaller beach and a cab into town proper is definitely needed for most non-resort nightlife.

The beach is wide and sandy with a mix of swimming areas and (illegal but clearly tolerated) jetski landings. It’s not uncommon to see one or two large cruise ships offshore, rarely close enough to see the livery but I’m guessing Star Cruises or the like based on the groups I saw ashore. The water is ridiculously bathwater warm and shallow for ages… another reason the tsunami must have come out of nowhere for people as I don’t think I saw a cresting wave that didn’t come from a boat wake the entire time I was on the beach. I imagine that’s different in monsoon season of course but the Andaman has been endlessly gentle during my stay.

The town itself is… I don’t want to say sleazy but, yeah kinda sleazy. The core of the town has a very “downtown vegas before they cleaned it up” vibe. The previously mentioned fancy shopping center seems to serve as a sort of central cluster then most of the streets leading away from there are lined with bars and restaurants, all the sidewalks jammed with sweaty tourists and line after like of tuk-tuk and taxi arriving with people staying at the other beaches coming in to party. Bangla Road is the epicenter of the more intense nightlife (go-go bars, prostitution and frat boy bars abound) and is at least quasi pedestrian only but most of the surrounding streets have late night bars/restaurants and other diversions as well. Russians are everywhere, particularly of the musclebound gangster image cultivating type and indeed other than some backpacker aged folk from NA/Australia most of the tourists are european in general during my visit. After one visit for curiousity’s sake I mostly stayed a bit further from this area at night as there’s only so many times I really need a drunken russian woman stumbling into me and spilling her drink or some random tout badgering me about “you want ticket to fuck show? cheap price!” I did stumble into a couple different places a bit further out from that area that had a band playing and grabbed a drink or two at those several times. I don’t want to give anyone the impression that all of Phuket is like this. It’s a subsection of this one beachtown and most of other towns have very different vibes (even the other portions of Patong do) but be aware this is why a subset of people come to Patong specifically. Or this may be totally your scene and sound great, I’m definitely here more for the sights and sounds of the country and not the party scene though.

My nighttime photo didn’t turn out but this gives you the general idea of the scene.

One super frustrating thing I will rant about though is the abundance of massage parlors. I have literally no idea how they all exist in Patong or indeed in any of the tourist zones where every fourth business seems to be a massage parlor of either super legitimate or sleazy variety (or of course the ultra sleazy variety that are pointedly missing the “no happy ending/no sex signs that most of the middleground ones seem to have.) I mean more power to them if they are making a living and I know good thai massage is supposed to be phenomenal (maybe I will partake before I leave.) BUT, the annoying versions of these will have 4 or 5 women out front, often dressed in some garish outfit who will super aggressively bother you about a massage. Whatever, I can ignore touts, but the gross part to me is the last one in the line will always try and reach out to gently caress my arm as I pass by as a last ditch attempt and ugh… I do not like being randomly touched by strangers and I particularly don’t like it when I’m feeling hot and sweaty and gross and just want to get back to the hotel to clean up. I get that I’m a guy in his 30s travelling along so probably a prime target for you but ugh, back off.

As mentioned in the last post though this was always intended to be my destress portion of the trip. Most of you are aware that due to some bullshit with my employer I had my holidays cancelled on me last year so this is my first real holiday in two years. (I did snag a week at the lake with my parents last summer then proceeded to get a ridiculous summer cold/flu for most of it so it doesn’t really count.) So yeah… my day usually consisted of sleeping in until I felt like waking up, going for a brief swim in the hotel pool, having a shower eating a croissant then heading down to the beach for most of the day then watching the sunset before grabbing a ridiculously cheap dinner somewhere, maybe hitting the bar for a bit then walking back to the hotel for another shower and another great night in that massive king sized bed. Rejuvenating is an understatement.

Most days I ended up in the same cluster of odd fruit trees (I have no idea what the cluster pod fruits were though one landed very close to me one day and I started sitting a bit further away) for a bit of shade at the top of the beach. Daytime temps were hovering around 32-35 most days without a cloud in the sky. This appeared to be where many of the locals sat be they Thai or (more commonly) the somewhat tragic collection of ancient euro expats and their muuuuuuuuch younger thai girlfriends/wives (and some boyfriends.) Sitting amongst them one couldn’t help but wonder about inevitable forthcoming estate battles with family’s back home. Mostly I peoplewatched and swam, read from my eBook and thought about what I should have for dinner.

I’ve already covered food to some extent in this travelogue but you must understand that I LOVE thai food. The cheapness of thai meals here (even in this most touristy of touristy locations in Thailand) is astounding. Lunch is mostly a quick noodle, curry or soup from a roadside stand or mini kitchen. Chicken Pad Thai is of course a tourist food but also generally delicious and ludicrously cheap for decent portions. Pad See Ew or Khao Soi or various other things are usually not much more expensive. Or if it’s so ludicrously hot that I can’t face anything warm I might just get a papaya or mango salad, usually nice and spicy and super refreshing. Rarely are these meals more than $3-4cad all in.

Dinner I’ve been splurging a little bit more as there are some nice places here, but usually just to try more dishes rather than spending massively more in general. Not far from the hotel in an absolutely terrible spot right by the main road in and out of town is a really gorgeous little restaurant that really deserves a quieter beachfront spot (but then it would be double the price.) Here I ordered an appetizer of thai sausage and cashew shrimp wrapped in spring roll dough then deep fried, a som tam with papaya, a noodle dish I can’t remember and a small bowl of tom kha gai. Add on a pineapple smoothie and a bottle of water and I dropped a whole $15 on this meal (though since I had a kitchenette I took home the leftovers and actually got a lunch out of it too.) Honestly it’s necessary to splurge once in a while. One of the main downfalls of being a solo traveler is not getting to sample what your travelling companion is eating when dining out.

The Sausage, Cashew and Shrimp appetizer thing

Overall my time in Patong has been relaxing, but I’m definitely ready to move on and see some of the other sights in this ridiculously welcoming country. I’ve decided to transfer to Koh Lanta to the south in hopes of easing back in to some diving/finding a mellower beach vibe then I’ll have to make a decision about either heading back north in preparation for heading to Chang Mai or whether I want to do any further island hopping in the south.

 

 

How to make a chocolate courtesan

While I know Wes Anderson’s movies rub some people the wrong way I am personally an unabashed fanboy. I remember my first glimpse of the trailer for The Royal Tenenbaums while sitting in the sticky darkness of Cinema City. I was on a first or second date with some girl whose name I can’t recall. I turned to her afterwards as the last commercial for drinks in the lobby played and said something like “that looks interesting” and I still remember her replying but a really, almost valley girl “nah, looks dumb.” Pretty much from that moment I knew things were doomed. If I remember correctly she confirmed that assumption with some pretty stupid comments during the post movie drinks. It was our last time out together.

Since then I’ve seen everything that he’s put out (and gone back to catch Rushmore and Bottle Rocket) and I am waiting rather impatiently for The Grand Budapest hotel to debut here in Winnipeg. Unfortunately it arrives in theatres the day before I leave on holiday and may be gone by the time I have free time again two weeks later. In the meantime however I am very tempted to try the recipe for what is apparently the film’s signature dessert, a “Courtesan au Chocolat.” A mountain of chocolate and choux pastry intricately arranged in a very Anderson manner, it’s clearly a ton of work but I’m dying to try one.

Thankfully the recipe has been released as a video, shot as an in universe demo (perhaps it even appears in the movie as is, someone feel free to say so in the comments.

Crossposted from Full Spoon Rising

St. Paddy’s Delight

I’ve always loved corned beef. Something about the salty tang of the meat and the zing of a fine hot mustard between two thick slabs of proper rye bread just speaks to my soul. As a result one of the first things I tried during my journey into Charcuterie was a from scratch home-brined brisket of corned beef in honour of St. Patrick’s day. Here’s what I wrote last year over on the sister site.

 

For the record, I do know that Corned Beef actually isn’t that traditional an Irish dish. It certainly is a transplanted Irish dish however and has always been popular as a St. Paddy’s treat on this side of the pond. Personally as a Winnipegger it’s always been a favourite for sandwiches as well. Give me a proper Winnipeg Corned Beef on Rye with hot mustard over almost any other sandwich in the world (Montreal Smoked Meat being an exception of course.) Yet for some reason it had never occurred to me to try making it from scratch. I guess I’d always assumed it was something for which a commercial kitchen was required.

 

Since that magical day I’ve been spreading the gospel of the home made corned beef but it’s been a while since I’ve done it myself. I couldn’t let St. Patrick’s pass without doing one and so last night I pulled from the brine a delicious 4 lb brisket, boiled it up and when I get home tonight it’s time for corned beef, cabbage and new potatoes.

If you’re interested in trying it out at home you really only need one special ingredient (that you can order online, or skip with some reprecussions) and the total active time and effort involved is more or less an hour.

Check out the recipe!

Culinary Adventures: Frangipane Tart

I think everyone has treats from their childhood that evoke special memories. Maybe it’s your mother’s chocolate chip cookie recipe bringing back memories of winter mornings or blueberry pancakes making you think of camping trips in the woods. One of mine has always been Frangipane. My grandmother would often buy a delicious frangipane tart made by the since closed Belgian bakery on Corydon here in Winnipeg. Something about that buttery crust, thin layer of raspberry jam and thick layer of almond filling just rocked my world as a kid. It didn’t hurt that I often got it when I was either off or home sick from school and had to stay with my granny while Mom was at work. Just the thought of those tastes takes me back to being curled up under a blanket in the recliner watching pbs or cartoons.

It’s one of the first sweet things from my childhood that I remember distinctly. The first thing I remember loving that wasn’t your standard overfrosted birthday cake. I think at this point I’d only ever had basic roasted almonds and this was my introduction to just how delicate and delicious they can be. It would eventually blossom into a full-blown love of almonds to the point where one of the best gifts anyone can give me is a tin of the smokehouse almonds.

My grandmother passed away a several years ago now, but this has been a year of honouring her memory for me. I finally visited England properly, toured some of the locations where she or her family lived and met some friends who missed her dearly. As Christmas rolled around and I tried to think of something to make for dessert the Granny theme came back again and inspired me to finally make  my own version of that delicious cake.

Read More

Soupy Summer

Apologies for absence, last school term was hellish. So many blog entries half finished as a major crisis erupted with a project. For those who might still check this site
on occasion, my sincere thanks. Here’s a super awesome recipe or two to get back into the habit.

Some people are of the opinion that soups other than the chilled variety should be saved for winter. Hogwash I say. (or should I go with poppycock as an outmoded but fun to say contrary exclamation?) A good, reasonably light soup can be the perfect addition to a summer meal or can, served with fresh baguette and the beverage of your choice, make an excellent light summer meal out on your deck/balcony.

Note, the names of the recipes are links to the actual recipe.

Exhibit A:

Cream of Cambonzola Soup

cocfinale1

The flavour of this soup is very mellow at first with the after taste of the blue portion of the cheese making a really nice counterpoint. In my opinion this soup works best when accompanied by something else with a nice low key flavour.

Serving Suggestions:

Pair with a light sandwich, roasted chicken and provolone is a personal favorite. Also works nicely along with a large salad and a hunk of baguette as a light but satisfying meal on a sweltering day. Add in a peppy white wine or beer to round out the meal.

Exhibit B:

Fiery Tomato Vodka Soup with Chipotle, Lime and Basil

icsatoastsoup15cropped2

This spicy summer soup I came up with for an iron chef competition a few years back just screams summer to me. The smoky spice of the chipotle is balanced by the lime and basil to make a refreshing hot weather meal. Finish the soup with a dollop of creme fraiche or sour cream for a bit of extra contrast.

Serving Suggestions:

Extremely tasty suggestion include pairing with a grilled chicken or veggie quesadilla, Fish Tacos, or simply served with Tortillas or Nachos on the side. Practically begs for an accompanying margarita.

Exhibit C:

Tom Kha Gai (your transliteration may vary)

tomkha1

One of a few thai soups I could easily add to this list. The variety of flavours in this soup really make it sing on your palette and it’s filling enough that one bowl is usually enough. Handily enough, it’s also incredibly easy to make. If the recipe linked above doesn’t match your favorite restaurants version search around, here are thousands of recipes available.

Serving Suggestions:

If you’re having it as the main portion of your meal I personally feel it’s brilliant on its own, but a nice hunk of crusty french bread also works. This is another soup that is just dying for nice peppy light beer. The usual Thai accompaniment is a Singha.

=======================

So… there’s 3 suggestions. Anyone have any others? Post

them on the wiki!