Cambodacious

Angkor Sunrise

Those of you who are CJS grads of my era will remember an incredibly frustrating project in Core “English” class called your life list. For those that aren’t basically it was a bucket list of (I think) one hundred things you wanted to do before you die. It was an incredibly stupid project that we spent a ludicrous amount of time on in senior year. Now don’t get me wrong, I think getting kids of that age to at least pay some cursory attention to that sort of concept isn’t a bad idea but:

This project required 100 ‘Meaningful’ things you wanted to do in your life AND was going to be posted in public in high school, I don’t know about you but that meant nothing EXTREMELY personal was going on there. As with most of my friends I was grasping at straws after a few dozen… by 70-100 I was straight up making crap up. No 17/18 year old has or even should have 100 goals yet, we’re still discovering who we’re going to be as an adult.

The thing for me is that a big portion of the project involved displaying your 100 things in some meaningful way, some of us just did a poster with some sort of random hook to it (mine was a trombone and my items were on music notes I think?) and some people went ridiculously overboard. I forget how much this project was worth but I recall it being a not insignificant mark in a required ‘english’ course that was essentially being given out for how meaningful my dreams were and my skill at elementary school arts and crafts.

Yes I am still bitter about this (and other things about that class, never got my credits for gunther!) 20+ years later. Sure glad I spent that time on that instead of you know… my real english class that taught me how to write well for university… or Physics! It may not surprise you to note that I believe my parents talked to this teacher at PTIs and were told something like “Tristan does not hide his disdain well and needs to stop rolling his eyes.”

That said… this giant rant serves as a preamble to the fact that one of my legit number one things on that stupid list was “See the sun rise at Angkor Wat” and by god I checked it off. You’re welcome 17 year old me!


Let’s back up a bit though. My mostly nice stay at the Bamboo ended on a bit of a sour note as I realized the maids had thrown out or taken my packing bags. Thankfully I wasn’t so overpacked that it was an issue. As previously discussed in the blog I’d sprung for some air travel to pack as much as possible into the last week and a half. So while it’s theoretically possible to go directly to cambodia from the Phu Quoc area, it involves a fair bit of time on a bus, extended border transition times and then transfering in Phnom Penh to get to where I wanted to be in Siem Reap. It just made more sense to fly there via a quick hop back to HCMC then onward to Siem Reap, then direct from Siem Reap back to Hanoi for my flight home. Thankfully the flights lined up quite well and I was delay free and ended up touching down in Cambodia around 4pm.

First off, Siem Reap has an adorable airport that seemed very new. The other main reason for making sure I got to Cambodia this trip was that I’d sprung for the extra money for a multiple entry Vietnam visa. The Cambodian visa on the other hand was pay on arrival in USD. After getting extorted with a $5 fee at an atm for some yankeebux (I’d spent my reserve the week before paying Dr. Phu.) I stood in the brief line with the other foreigners to pay (most of the plane had been full of locals and Vietnamese who don’t require a visa) I waited for my name to be called. Despite being warned that they have trouble with western names and to pay attention it still took me 3 calls before I realized that Arz-ee was me. Turnabout is fair play and all with how I no doubt butchered the names of everything I tried 😉 Somewhat hilariously the dude asked if I wanted to skip the line, I remembered reading in my guidebook that five bucks can usually get you ahead, but turning around at a mostly empty customs hall I told him I’d take my chances and was in fact through in about 3 minutes. I suppose that scam works better when there are planeloads of chinese tour groups but about a quarter of the arrivals board was cancelled flights that day.

I’d booked in at an eco-guesthouse that offered free airport pickup and the very smiley Mr. Thon was waiting for me with a sign. Stuffing me and my bag onto his Cambodian style tuktuk (essentially a regular motorcycle with a permanent trailer) he took me into the city proper with a running commentary that I could hear about 50% of over the rush of the wind. He told me it was a shame I was here this week instead of next as the new Angkor Eye (a large ferris wheel in the vein of a smaller London Eye) was opening the following week. As we got closer to our destination I wondered if he was taking me somewhere to be killed as we zigzagged across bridges and through lanes until finally turning down a dead end path that…. surprisingly was lined with guest houses out of nowhere.

My place was called the Babel Guesthouse and is run as sustainably as possible by a Norwegian Couple. The lobby contains a shop full of various Hippie home and beauty products, the idea being to refill rather than buy more plastic. This extended to water bottle which is an ethos I can get behind to a point… except that their public refill bottle was just under a thin cloth cover. If you’re going to want me to not buy water it needs to be at least somewhere in the zip code of cold. I’d been places in Thailand that did the same and they had ceramic jackets they could put over the bottles with a bit of ice to keep the water significantly colder. Other than that it was a fairly nice place with a small courtyard bar where you could watch soccer and get a drink/food. The breakfast was apparently nice but I never partook as it wasn’t free and I was usually out of there too early anyway.

After checking in and arranging my (gulp) sunrise excusion to Angkor Wat the next day I set out to explore the town and get some food. Siem Reap is not a particularly large city, somewhere in the neighbourhood of 100k people though of course usually swollen with tourists. While it was busy enough, I walked past several large hotels that looked mostly empty and even one that appeared to be shut down. Crossing over the canal that bisects the city I by chance spotted a restaurant called Chorney Tree that was highly rated in my guidebook and pulled up a chair and I was absolutely famished after skipping lunch.

Last year when I was in Berkeley for a wedding with my food friends we went to a cambodian place for dinner one night and we were all blown away by the flavours. In a trip I knew would be filled with a ton of great food I was probably looking forward to Cambodia the most. That first meal was phenomenal. Beef loc lac (tender thin pieces of marinated beef served with a bright tasting lime and black pepper sauce, crispy fried egg, rice and veggies) and a steamed egg and pork bao. Even later in the evening it was still very hot so relaxing with a great meal under a whirling fan was lovely, especially washing it down with a beer and a fruit smoothie as well as some crispy banana chips made with those amazingly sweet se asian bananas.

Walking a bit further after dinner I discovered the main Siem Reap night market and pub street which is basically tourist central after dark. There is a proper market but it’s surrounded by all sorts of restaurants, numerous upper floor bars blaring at each other across narrow alleys and even a kickboxing/wrestling ‘arena’ (there is apparently a full sized kickboxing arena in town as well that has more traditional events.) I had a quick look around but as I’d arranged to leave for the temples at 4:30 the next morning I went to bed basically the moment I thought there was a chance of sleeping.


Man four A.M. is early, especially when you’re in vacation mode. I mean I’d mostly been getting up at a reasonable hour this trip due to none of the hotels having blackout curtains or being particularly well soundproofed… but 4 is another matter entirely. Up, showered and (quasi) awake I made my way out front where my driver was waiting with a similar tuk tuk to the one I’d taken the day before. Bleary eyed as I was I didn’t actually make note of any of its identifying features which was an issue later. By 4:45 we’d arrived at the Angkor ticket office for the national park which contains the temples. Nominally it opens at 5am but I guess they start a bit early, unfortunately I didn’t notice the small sign that said the 1 and 3 day passes were different lines and only just managed to change lines before the first of the tourbuses arrived and started disgorging more hordes behind me. One can only imagine how much busier it would have been with another 10 buses with Chinese folks. Tickets are fairly pricey, but one can imagine they’re the main way the conservation is funded so I’m a-ok with that. It was $62 us for a three day pass so I grabbed one despite not being sure if I’d be doing that much time.

Cleaning the moat of weeds

It was still pitch black as he ran me down the road towards the park entrance and it was with fairly vague directions that I was pointed at Angkor Wat itself but even ahead of the main crowd there was a trickle of visitors confirming I was heading the right way and eventualy I found myself at the edge of the moat water. February is firmly in Cambodia’s hot and dry season and space at the water’s edge was at a bit of a premium but I was still kind of shocked at how many people were trying to cram around the water in hopes of grabbing a reflection shot of the sunrise. It was a fairly long wait and as dawn approached swarms more people arrived and people started demanding those in front get down. Unfortunately I was standing in mud but managed to find a dry spot because there was no way my knees were going to handly crouching for 45 minutes. Occasionally people up front stood to stretch or take a shot and some loudmouth Australian who had just arrived kept yelling out crap about ‘sit down, do you think you’re special’ or the like. I mean I get it, let’s try and let as many people enjoy the best view possible but give people a break. Eventually he yelled ‘Your mother would be ashamed of you’ and I yelled back something in the vein of “my mother taught me to be places on time” and got a few claps and cheers from folks at the front.

Detail Starts to become visible

Sunrise itself was slow in coming but absolutely magical. For the most part people kept their yaps shut once it arrived and you just heard the occasional hushed whisper or whirr of a camera shutter. I can’t really described it but those ancient towers slowly coming into view in front of the growing dawn light made it easy to imagine you’d been transported through time.

Once dawn had well and truly arrived I gave in to my aches (should have done this when you were younger T) and got up and walked around the moat towards the main temple. Angkor Wat is the only one of the temples in the region to have been continually used since being built (in the 12th century originally as a Hindu temple) and is thus the best preserved. It’s also the largest single religious monument in the world.

Relief Carvings

I’d actually walked in complete darkness over the floating bridge that is replacing the causeway during repairs and through the 5km long outer wall but now that daylight was here the galleries and inner area were opened and I could explore in earnest. The pure symetry of the place is what strikes you first after you start to comprehend the sheer scale.

Tower and Terrace

In addition to the spires and long raised galleries Angkor Wat is famous for the intricate bas-reliefs that adorn the walls. The most famous of these is the ‘churning of the ocean of milk’ a representation of the reinvigoration of the universe comprising dozens of painstakingly carved asuras and devas.

Churning of the Milk

Interestingly a lot of the modern restoration work has focused on cleaning out or reimplementing the original drainage and cleaning systems from construction as earlier restoration efforts caused as much damage as they fixed. Other efforts involve keeping plant life at bay, more on that later.

Steepness

I spent what felt like ages exploring the place but it was still quite early when I made my way back towards the floating bridge and discovered that while I had a vague idea of what my driver looked like I had zero idea which of a probably fifty tuktuks was mine. Eventually I spotted a dude in a red shirt in the distance which turned out to be my driver Tam. This time I made sure I looked at the ad on the back of the seat to better spot it later.

A couple KM north lies the south gate of Angkor Thom, once the capital of the Khmer empire until it was later sacked by the Ayuthaya kingdom of Siam/Thailand. Unlike Angkor Wat this was an actual townsite and large number of people lived here before it was abandoned, though most of the later buildings were not stone and don’t survive today. What remains is gorgeous though, a number of temples and terraces in noticeably different styles.

Bridge View

The main temple of Bayon, probably the second most famous after Angkor Wat itself had a number of monkeys hanging around outside. They were surprisingly unpushy though there were a few warnings around about being careful. Though in much poorer shape than some other temples (and currently undergoing a major restoration effort of the upper levels) there’s still a vast maze of passages to discover. The towers carved with massive faces are very impressive.

Bayon Towers
Bayon – Center of Angkor Thom
Some guy on a bridge

From there I snaked through and walked the long causeway to the Baphuon temple which was one of the few you could climb to the top (up some absolutely mentally steep wooden stairs that covered the originals for preservation purposes.)

View from top of Baphuon back down the Causeway
Causeway to Baphuon in Angkor Thom

Phimeanakas was just to the north of there and was apparently the royal palace area for much of the era of the city. It’s guarded by the terrace of the elephants from which one could once see the royal processions from the victory gate.

Baphuon

A quick stop for lunch and a giant bottle of water helped me recharge a bit as the full heat of the day had arrived and it was probably pushing 35c with not much of a breeze to speak of. I was glad I’d had some time to adjust to the heat before getting here.

Some of the more sheltered carvings have been well preserved

Our next stop was Ta Prohm, known as the Tomb Raider temple due to being used to film several sequences in the original Jolie film adapatation of the game. This is one of the temples where the conservation work has focused on maintaining the balance between invading nature and keeping the temples whole. Large trees and vines grown around, through and actually on the temple buildings and walls and if you catch a courtyard at a deserted moment it’s easy to imagine you’ve just emerged from the jungle to find a forgotten ruin.

Ta Promh with a tree growing on top of (not through) the temple
Ta Promh the Tomb Raider temple

We Finished the first day’s exploration at Banteay Kdei and Sra Srang. Banteay Kdei was a monastery but is in poor repair now, apparently due to using lower quality stone than many of the other monuments. Sra Srang is a large resevoir with terraces which was used as a bathing area for the royal family and every time I went by it on this trip there were a number of kids swimming.

My driver offered to drop me off at pub street and I agreed thinking a drink and a snack might be nice, but when he forgot and took me back to the hotel I sucumbed to the lure of a shower and a nap. I must admit it was nice that the guesthouse had their own crew of trusted drivers, they make a point of paying them a solid wage (it probably cost about 30% more than if I’d hired a random person) but the guys did a good job at steering you around properly, dropping you at the right place and time to avoid as much of the crowds as possible and chimed in with the occasional fact that added some context.

Khmer spiced chicken and spring rolls

Once I’d recharged I walked back over to the night market and explored more thoroughly before eventually ending up down a side street at a tiny place that smelled amazing when I stopped to look at the menu. The resulting meal was almost as good as the night before, Khmer Spiced chicken skewers and ultra crispy spring rolls. Walking back I noticed a movie theatre which just like the ones in Vietnam was essentially a giant chaotic motorbike garage under the teeniest of lobbies and a couple screening rooms. I finished the night in a random bar along the pub street having a couple drinks and just people watching now that it had cooled down a bit.

Pub Street

I’m pretty sure I was out the moment I hit the pillow though with the nap I did manage to stay awake until a reasonable hour, thankfully day two was going to start a bit later.

Carnaval, Nuns and the Russian Madeiran

The stress letdown of finally having our bags, our clothes, our toiletries meant we finally slept soundly that night. Saturday morning we even had a solid sleep in and fairly quickly decided to just have a relaxing day (the courtesy bus wasn’t running but we later discovered that the city buses worked pretty well for the area.) After some toast we headed down to sit by our pool (and overlooking the cliffs) and relaxed with our books for a couple hours. It was gorgeous and sunny (around 23c I believe) and we ended up trying the (outdoor) pool but it was completely unheated and was sitting a a temperature closer to the normal ‘winter’ temps for Madeira so it was pretty much West Hawk on May Long/Lake Superior type cold. Had a quick swim to stretch out my hip that’s been giving me problems again since my tailbone accident but didn’t linger in there super long.

We’d noticed on google and on our bus ride down that there was a german restaurant up the hill and we thought some schnitzel might be a good ‘different’ dinner. Unfortunately after huffing it up a few levels we found the place was closed (we saw activity later so it seems like they likely open March 1st like some other things here.) In the end we ended up at another Madeiran/Portuguese place close to the hotel. It was in the Garden of an older small hotel and seemed in fact to partially built into the oldest part of the hotel. The kitchen seemed to be in two converted rooms and the bar could easily have been a former lobby. Though we didn’t have anything that required it, many of the meat came on giant skewers where the waiter would come to your table and set up a stand then hang your meat from it. It was sort of halfway to the Brazillian steakhouse method. Our choices ended up being tasty and after a lovely meal (and mother indulging in her 2352nd fancy coffee of the trip) we retired for some cards. It was a nice recharge day after going hard since arriving.

Parade A-Frame

This period (it seems to vary by the individual town) is the start of Carnaval here on the island. We’d booked what was called a tour but ended up mostly being a mildly guided shuttle to one of the more traditional towns on the Northeast part of Madeira to see one of their events. Apparently their festival is sort of a local thing adapted into a carnaval thing once that became a ‘thing’ so it goes by a few names. The highlight was what we were told was a ‘children’s parade’ that was actually just an incredibly slow moving parade of bands, children’s dance groups, floats with local pastoral scenes (an active building of a teeny a-frame traditional house for one) and agricultural things.

Parade Weirdness

Parade Bands

We enjoyed the wackyness for a bit then as the parade finished explored the town square which had some sort of entertainment going on (it seemed very talky but people were enjoying it.) Everywhere around the square there were booths with food and drink, almost exclusively Poncha, Bolo de Caco (portuguese flatbread wrapped around various meats/cheeses/garlic butter) and skewers of beef pork or chicken cooked over embers. As is the norm in europe you could carry your hooch around so we sampled a few things then made our way back up to the bus and town.

Traditional Madeiran A-Frame House

Town Square

Going to and coming back from Santana we got our first good look at the far end of the airport from the ground and it’s absolutely incredible. Tons of concrete pillars holding up the entire runway extension most around 70m high according to wikipedia. Between the limited space and the winds here it’s easy to see why it’s in the top 10 most dangerous airports in the world.

Not my image but you get the idea…

Settling back in at happy hour we ran into the same couple that had commiserated with us on friday night and got a recommendation for a different tour company/made a booking. I also scouted out what looked like an interesting russian run cafe nearby while snagging some drinks/chips for the room.

Monday was another day of gorgeous weather and we were thankful as we had booked a tour to go up to what’s called Curral das Freiras or the Nun’s valley. Though we actually started the day popping into Funchal and having breakfast back at our favourite bakery and stocking up on bread for back at the suite. We also explored the absolutely gorgeous Se Cathedral in Funchal which is simulaneously grand and impressive while still maintaining aspects of being a fisherman’s/working man’s place of worship.

Se Cathedral

I’ve been to plenty of hilly or mountainous places in my time but Madeira is definitely the most ridiculously and suddenly up and down. The relatively recent volcanic origin seems to be to blame for the incredibly sharp ridgelines that appear in certain areas. Nowhere we travelled was this more evident that the way up to Nun’s valley. Overlooking the town itself is a hotel and overlook high high up on a ridgeline and accessible by what used to be the main road into town before one of the major tunnel projects of recent years created a giant ramp tunnel. It’s absolutely amazing how sudden and severe the dropoff is and it was odd to climb up to the lookout then look down on birds soaring high above the town but still hundreds of feet below us.

Curral das Freiras from the overlook

The town itself is best known as a cultivator of chestnuts on the island and they produce chestnut cakes, chestnut liqueurs, roasted chestnuts etc. There is even a chestnut museum and a festival at the end of summer. It’s not a particularly exciting town other than it’s picturesque location so after a quick look around we grabbed a drink and a slice of cake (without checking the prices) and I had a bit of a heart attack after as I realized it had cost us the equivalent of $27.50cdn. Ah captive tourist pricing at it’s finest (though desert in general is quite pricey at restaurants here, part of the reason we’ve mostly stuck to bakery treats like our fave custard tarts.)

The valley road downward from the overlook

Arriving back in Funchal we managed to just make our transfer and got back to the hotel to realize that we’d never had lunch other than the cake… but also weren’t actually that hungry. I suggested we try one of the restaurants down the hill towards the water and we ended up wanting something light. We ended up at the place I’d bought drinks at the other night. Though presented as a “snack bar” and having aspects of a minimart/liquor store too, the cafe portion was fantastic. I spotted something called “russian ravioli” on the menu and asked the owner if they were Pelmeni. He seemed instantly enthusiastic that I knew what they were and told me they were handmade in house as was his sour cream (something I imagine would be difficult to find in madeira otherwise.) They were in a word… heavenly. Ultrathin dough, mix of beef and pork and spices, juicy and flavourful and served in a little clay pot. The place is owned by ex-pat Russians (mother and son) and it showed as they were the best pelmeni I’ve ever had in Portugal of all places. Alex (the son) insisted on giving me a free (very large) shot of vodka that I ‘HAD TO’ drink before eating the Pelmeni.

After our meal he also insisted we take some free dessert treats home and invited us to his friday violin concert which sadly we couldn’t make as we leave thursday. One of the local soccer teams was playing against Sporting Lisbon while we were there and a number of locals were enjoying the game which somehow lead to Alex and I talking about hockey. Turns out he’d seen Calgary touring in Russia as a younger lad and had loved my all time favourite player Theo Fleury, small world.

Krabi? No I’m feeling fine.

Ao Phang Nga area

It was tempting to take a boat from Phuket when I departed but in the end I decided to cheap out a bit and take the just as quick inland route as it gave me more flexibility of departure and was much cheaper (in the end I did about 80% of the boat route anyway when coming back.) Getting back to the bus station was the same level of extortionate taxi time but at least this time the man mostly knew where he was going. An hour or so later I was on an a/c bus for Krabi Town.

One of the things you notice hurtling through the countryside on one of these buses (aside from the deathwishes of people driving various motorcycle based contraptions) is the massive variety of dwelling. It’s rare (in this portion of the country at least) to go long without seeing some form of abode, but you’ll pass an ancient looking miniscule house obviously still in use… then immediately there will be a large almost western looking house on a perfectly manicured lawn… followed by a row of shophouses then a plantation of some sort. In some cases these clusters coincide with what you might call a town, others they appear to just be randomly at some point along a highway.

The obsession with gates and walls is a very different thing culturally from home as well. Pretty much every government building is surrounded by a (usually spotless) pale wall with a large concrete gilded sign advertising that it’s something like “Regional Court for Young Persons.” My guess would be that the government has gone on a building spree of late given the number of these similar structures around. The gate thing is definitely mystifying at times though. From talking to a chatty lady on the bus who wanted to practice her english I gather that it’s a combination of things. Gates are the first thing your guests see so they have a connotation of status as well as symbolism to many buddhists. I’ve got to say though, I saw a ridiculous number of schools (both in Bangkok and rural thailand) with elaborate beautiful gates that look like they cost more than had been spent in the previous two decades on the maintenance of the school buildings behind them.

The road to Krabi passed back through the costal flats and around Phang Nga bay then south along the coast between the various limestone karst mounts that seem to be looming gorgeously everywhere here in this part of the peninsula. Krabi Town (to distinguish it from its eponymous province) is a small city on an inlet that serves as a transport gateway to a good chunk of the lower andaman coast. Visually it’s not super exciting and the bus terminal is annoyingly far away from the town proper. Thankfully I knew I could hop a Sorng-taa-ou (pickup truck pseudo bus/taxi) rather than pay a cab though the bus driver clearly got a payoff as he made us get off at a taxi/travel stand 250m from the bus station. The others and I nearly immediately spotted a pickup though and so got into town for about 80 cents vs the $10 the cabbie wanted. A short (somewhat terrifying due to a very sketchy looking railing) ride later and I was in the center of Krabi heading for a cheap guest house and eager for a bite as I hadn’t had time to grab more than a bag of (delicious spicy basil) lay’s for the trip.

The guest house was more or less as advertised, around $20 for a single room with a giant (if not particularly soft) bed and shared toilets/shower (a reasonable and spotless tiled room with multiple stalls of each shared with 5 other rooms.) The wifi was strong (and free, something that continues to be a welcome change from the last big trip) and there was food downstairs if you wanted and a pseudo 7/11 on the next corner. More than good enough for a one night stop.

In the short section on Krabi my guidebook more or less said “you have to go eat at the night market” and boy was it right, especially given it was a 3 minute walk from the guest house. Essentially a large farmer’s market food court except every vendor is serving delicious thai specialties at ridiculous prices. Almost nothing over 3-4 bucks a dish for a single serving. It was ludicrous trying to pick a place and in the end it was more or less at random. I grabbed a giant fruit shake, ordered some Tom Kha Gai and arandom curry I hadn’t tried yet and was shown to one of the variety of tables on the riverfront. The book was right, this was clearly the place to eat. There were probably 100ish tables and the tourists were outnumbered by locals to fill most of them. Facing the row of carts were a nearly constant stream of Sorng-taa-ou, taxi, delivery and tuk tuk drivers all stopping for a brief dinner before continuing their shifts.

Krabi Night Market

I have no idea how they kept track of who was sitting where and who owed what but I didn’t have to pre-pay. Eventually a different woman from that cart/kitchen came and found me in the warren of tables and deposited my first dish before eventually returning with the second. Incidentally that’s definitely one thing you have to get used to at the more local places here… courses some more or less randomly and never all at once. The more western places may try and have things arrive semi simultaneously but it’s rare elsewhere. If you want your spring rolls first best order them and wait to order the rest for a few minutes as well. The food was amazing and the atmosphere even better. It had finally cooled down a bit and the breeze off the inlet/river at my back was carrying the smells from other tables over to me. Every single dish I saw carried by looked better than the last and if I hadn’t been so completely stuffed I would have ordered another one. The one mystery to me was how one paid as I wasn’t really in eyeline of the cart but also didn’t see anyone wandering up to carts to pay (though I did later find out that’s acceptable too.) Eventually though the woman who had sat me down brought another person over in my direction and I flagged her down and got everything settled.

Krabi Night Market Juice Man

At that point I decided to go for a walk along the riverfront, found the dock from which I’d be leaving the next morning then walked a bit farther up in the other direction and grabbed a beer at a quiet bar and just enjoyed the change in scenery. On the way back to the guesthouse I passed the night market again and decided I’d walked off enough of dinner to indulge in what they called a banana pancake with nutella (or roti depending on the cart) which was more of a crispy pan fried crepe with sliced banana topped with a bit of nutella and chopped into bite size pieces. That finished me off for the night and after a long shower I fell asleep reading in bed not long after.

 

 

Relaxation Achieved: Fun and Food in Patong, Phuket

In 2004 at Christmas I was visiting my aunt and uncle in California with my parents and grandmother. We spent a good chunk of boxing day watching the horrifying videos of the tsunami coming in at various places in this region of the Indian Ocean. Now, having been here (this beach being one of the hard hit places in Thailand) it’s even easier to imagine how scary it must have been. Rewatching one video obviously taken not terribly far from my hotel you can just see that relentless rising tide slamming everything and everyone out of its way into the front line of buildings. You can see how many people believe the death toll would have been much worse even a few hours later here as the christmas revellers woke from their hangovers and headed to the beach. Now of course Thailand has its fancy new warning system and whatnot but it’s still sobering to think about as you walk down past the “Tsunami Evac Zone” signs to the beachfront.

Today Patong is an odd place. It’s massively developed by thai standards (more or less the entire bay is filled beachfront to hills) but to us Canadians more used to the Mexico and the Carribean it seems less so. For starters there are few hotels directly on the beach and indeed few businesses directly on the beach. The latter is apparently because of another thai government crackdown that comes and goes but it’s certainly nice to be able to find shady spots at the top of a beach not covered in some hotel’s deck chairs. The actual beachfront in Patong town proper is more akin to a European resort area or say the area along the Malecon in Puerto Vallarta (though that is pretty Spain itself.) A few small hotels and guest houses, not many over 3 stories high mixed with souvenir shops and restaurants and all seperated from the beach area by a busy road. There is a thin strip of land mostly devoid of businesses between the road and beach some of which looks as though it is remnants of pre tsunami decorations (paths that are worn away/dead end for example.) The larger hotels tend to be a couple streets back from the seaside and none are particularly huge. There are a few taller towers in the town center area but none seem particularly new. Fancier hotel with older guests wise the new trend seems to be building out on the cliffs north of town where there is a smaller beach and a cab into town proper is definitely needed for most non-resort nightlife.

The beach is wide and sandy with a mix of swimming areas and (illegal but clearly tolerated) jetski landings. It’s not uncommon to see one or two large cruise ships offshore, rarely close enough to see the livery but I’m guessing Star Cruises or the like based on the groups I saw ashore. The water is ridiculously bathwater warm and shallow for ages… another reason the tsunami must have come out of nowhere for people as I don’t think I saw a cresting wave that didn’t come from a boat wake the entire time I was on the beach. I imagine that’s different in monsoon season of course but the Andaman has been endlessly gentle during my stay.

The town itself is… I don’t want to say sleazy but, yeah kinda sleazy. The core of the town has a very “downtown vegas before they cleaned it up” vibe. The previously mentioned fancy shopping center seems to serve as a sort of central cluster then most of the streets leading away from there are lined with bars and restaurants, all the sidewalks jammed with sweaty tourists and line after like of tuk-tuk and taxi arriving with people staying at the other beaches coming in to party. Bangla Road is the epicenter of the more intense nightlife (go-go bars, prostitution and frat boy bars abound) and is at least quasi pedestrian only but most of the surrounding streets have late night bars/restaurants and other diversions as well. Russians are everywhere, particularly of the musclebound gangster image cultivating type and indeed other than some backpacker aged folk from NA/Australia most of the tourists are european in general during my visit. After one visit for curiousity’s sake I mostly stayed a bit further from this area at night as there’s only so many times I really need a drunken russian woman stumbling into me and spilling her drink or some random tout badgering me about “you want ticket to fuck show? cheap price!” I did stumble into a couple different places a bit further out from that area that had a band playing and grabbed a drink or two at those several times. I don’t want to give anyone the impression that all of Phuket is like this. It’s a subsection of this one beachtown and most of other towns have very different vibes (even the other portions of Patong do) but be aware this is why a subset of people come to Patong specifically. Or this may be totally your scene and sound great, I’m definitely here more for the sights and sounds of the country and not the party scene though.

My nighttime photo didn’t turn out but this gives you the general idea of the scene.

One super frustrating thing I will rant about though is the abundance of massage parlors. I have literally no idea how they all exist in Patong or indeed in any of the tourist zones where every fourth business seems to be a massage parlor of either super legitimate or sleazy variety (or of course the ultra sleazy variety that are pointedly missing the “no happy ending/no sex signs that most of the middleground ones seem to have.) I mean more power to them if they are making a living and I know good thai massage is supposed to be phenomenal (maybe I will partake before I leave.) BUT, the annoying versions of these will have 4 or 5 women out front, often dressed in some garish outfit who will super aggressively bother you about a massage. Whatever, I can ignore touts, but the gross part to me is the last one in the line will always try and reach out to gently caress my arm as I pass by as a last ditch attempt and ugh… I do not like being randomly touched by strangers and I particularly don’t like it when I’m feeling hot and sweaty and gross and just want to get back to the hotel to clean up. I get that I’m a guy in his 30s travelling along so probably a prime target for you but ugh, back off.

As mentioned in the last post though this was always intended to be my destress portion of the trip. Most of you are aware that due to some bullshit with my employer I had my holidays cancelled on me last year so this is my first real holiday in two years. (I did snag a week at the lake with my parents last summer then proceeded to get a ridiculous summer cold/flu for most of it so it doesn’t really count.) So yeah… my day usually consisted of sleeping in until I felt like waking up, going for a brief swim in the hotel pool, having a shower eating a croissant then heading down to the beach for most of the day then watching the sunset before grabbing a ridiculously cheap dinner somewhere, maybe hitting the bar for a bit then walking back to the hotel for another shower and another great night in that massive king sized bed. Rejuvenating is an understatement.

Most days I ended up in the same cluster of odd fruit trees (I have no idea what the cluster pod fruits were though one landed very close to me one day and I started sitting a bit further away) for a bit of shade at the top of the beach. Daytime temps were hovering around 32-35 most days without a cloud in the sky. This appeared to be where many of the locals sat be they Thai or (more commonly) the somewhat tragic collection of ancient euro expats and their muuuuuuuuch younger thai girlfriends/wives (and some boyfriends.) Sitting amongst them one couldn’t help but wonder about inevitable forthcoming estate battles with family’s back home. Mostly I peoplewatched and swam, read from my eBook and thought about what I should have for dinner.

I’ve already covered food to some extent in this travelogue but you must understand that I LOVE thai food. The cheapness of thai meals here (even in this most touristy of touristy locations in Thailand) is astounding. Lunch is mostly a quick noodle, curry or soup from a roadside stand or mini kitchen. Chicken Pad Thai is of course a tourist food but also generally delicious and ludicrously cheap for decent portions. Pad See Ew or Khao Soi or various other things are usually not much more expensive. Or if it’s so ludicrously hot that I can’t face anything warm I might just get a papaya or mango salad, usually nice and spicy and super refreshing. Rarely are these meals more than $3-4cad all in.

Dinner I’ve been splurging a little bit more as there are some nice places here, but usually just to try more dishes rather than spending massively more in general. Not far from the hotel in an absolutely terrible spot right by the main road in and out of town is a really gorgeous little restaurant that really deserves a quieter beachfront spot (but then it would be double the price.) Here I ordered an appetizer of thai sausage and cashew shrimp wrapped in spring roll dough then deep fried, a som tam with papaya, a noodle dish I can’t remember and a small bowl of tom kha gai. Add on a pineapple smoothie and a bottle of water and I dropped a whole $15 on this meal (though since I had a kitchenette I took home the leftovers and actually got a lunch out of it too.) Honestly it’s necessary to splurge once in a while. One of the main downfalls of being a solo traveler is not getting to sample what your travelling companion is eating when dining out.

The Sausage, Cashew and Shrimp appetizer thing

Overall my time in Patong has been relaxing, but I’m definitely ready to move on and see some of the other sights in this ridiculously welcoming country. I’ve decided to transfer to Koh Lanta to the south in hopes of easing back in to some diving/finding a mellower beach vibe then I’ll have to make a decision about either heading back north in preparation for heading to Chang Mai or whether I want to do any further island hopping in the south.

 

 

How to make a chocolate courtesan

While I know Wes Anderson’s movies rub some people the wrong way I am personally an unabashed fanboy. I remember my first glimpse of the trailer for The Royal Tenenbaums while sitting in the sticky darkness of Cinema City. I was on a first or second date with some girl whose name I can’t recall. I turned to her afterwards as the last commercial for drinks in the lobby played and said something like “that looks interesting” and I still remember her replying but a really, almost valley girl “nah, looks dumb.” Pretty much from that moment I knew things were doomed. If I remember correctly she confirmed that assumption with some pretty stupid comments during the post movie drinks. It was our last time out together.

Since then I’ve seen everything that he’s put out (and gone back to catch Rushmore and Bottle Rocket) and I am waiting rather impatiently for The Grand Budapest hotel to debut here in Winnipeg. Unfortunately it arrives in theatres the day before I leave on holiday and may be gone by the time I have free time again two weeks later. In the meantime however I am very tempted to try the recipe for what is apparently the film’s signature dessert, a “Courtesan au Chocolat.” A mountain of chocolate and choux pastry intricately arranged in a very Anderson manner, it’s clearly a ton of work but I’m dying to try one.

Thankfully the recipe has been released as a video, shot as an in universe demo (perhaps it even appears in the movie as is, someone feel free to say so in the comments.

Crossposted from Full Spoon Rising

St. Paddy’s Delight

I’ve always loved corned beef. Something about the salty tang of the meat and the zing of a fine hot mustard between two thick slabs of proper rye bread just speaks to my soul. As a result one of the first things I tried during my journey into Charcuterie was a from scratch home-brined brisket of corned beef in honour of St. Patrick’s day. Here’s what I wrote last year over on the sister site.

 

For the record, I do know that Corned Beef actually isn’t that traditional an Irish dish. It certainly is a transplanted Irish dish however and has always been popular as a St. Paddy’s treat on this side of the pond. Personally as a Winnipegger it’s always been a favourite for sandwiches as well. Give me a proper Winnipeg Corned Beef on Rye with hot mustard over almost any other sandwich in the world (Montreal Smoked Meat being an exception of course.) Yet for some reason it had never occurred to me to try making it from scratch. I guess I’d always assumed it was something for which a commercial kitchen was required.

 

Since that magical day I’ve been spreading the gospel of the home made corned beef but it’s been a while since I’ve done it myself. I couldn’t let St. Patrick’s pass without doing one and so last night I pulled from the brine a delicious 4 lb brisket, boiled it up and when I get home tonight it’s time for corned beef, cabbage and new potatoes.

If you’re interested in trying it out at home you really only need one special ingredient (that you can order online, or skip with some reprecussions) and the total active time and effort involved is more or less an hour.

Check out the recipe!

Culinary Adventures: Frangipane Tart

I think everyone has treats from their childhood that evoke special memories. Maybe it’s your mother’s chocolate chip cookie recipe bringing back memories of winter mornings or blueberry pancakes making you think of camping trips in the woods. One of mine has always been Frangipane. My grandmother would often buy a delicious frangipane tart made by the since closed Belgian bakery on Corydon here in Winnipeg. Something about that buttery crust, thin layer of raspberry jam and thick layer of almond filling just rocked my world as a kid. It didn’t hurt that I often got it when I was either off or home sick from school and had to stay with my granny while Mom was at work. Just the thought of those tastes takes me back to being curled up under a blanket in the recliner watching pbs or cartoons.

It’s one of the first sweet things from my childhood that I remember distinctly. The first thing I remember loving that wasn’t your standard overfrosted birthday cake. I think at this point I’d only ever had basic roasted almonds and this was my introduction to just how delicate and delicious they can be. It would eventually blossom into a full-blown love of almonds to the point where one of the best gifts anyone can give me is a tin of the smokehouse almonds.

My grandmother passed away a several years ago now, but this has been a year of honouring her memory for me. I finally visited England properly, toured some of the locations where she or her family lived and met some friends who missed her dearly. As Christmas rolled around and I tried to think of something to make for dessert the Granny theme came back again and inspired me to finally make  my own version of that delicious cake.

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Soupy Summer

Apologies for absence, last school term was hellish. So many blog entries half finished as a major crisis erupted with a project. For those who might still check this site
on occasion, my sincere thanks. Here’s a super awesome recipe or two to get back into the habit.

Some people are of the opinion that soups other than the chilled variety should be saved for winter. Hogwash I say. (or should I go with poppycock as an outmoded but fun to say contrary exclamation?) A good, reasonably light soup can be the perfect addition to a summer meal or can, served with fresh baguette and the beverage of your choice, make an excellent light summer meal out on your deck/balcony.

Note, the names of the recipes are links to the actual recipe.

Exhibit A:

Cream of Cambonzola Soup

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The flavour of this soup is very mellow at first with the after taste of the blue portion of the cheese making a really nice counterpoint. In my opinion this soup works best when accompanied by something else with a nice low key flavour.

Serving Suggestions:

Pair with a light sandwich, roasted chicken and provolone is a personal favorite. Also works nicely along with a large salad and a hunk of baguette as a light but satisfying meal on a sweltering day. Add in a peppy white wine or beer to round out the meal.

Exhibit B:

Fiery Tomato Vodka Soup with Chipotle, Lime and Basil

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This spicy summer soup I came up with for an iron chef competition a few years back just screams summer to me. The smoky spice of the chipotle is balanced by the lime and basil to make a refreshing hot weather meal. Finish the soup with a dollop of creme fraiche or sour cream for a bit of extra contrast.

Serving Suggestions:

Extremely tasty suggestion include pairing with a grilled chicken or veggie quesadilla, Fish Tacos, or simply served with Tortillas or Nachos on the side. Practically begs for an accompanying margarita.

Exhibit C:

Tom Kha Gai (your transliteration may vary)

tomkha1

One of a few thai soups I could easily add to this list. The variety of flavours in this soup really make it sing on your palette and it’s filling enough that one bowl is usually enough. Handily enough, it’s also incredibly easy to make. If the recipe linked above doesn’t match your favorite restaurants version search around, here are thousands of recipes available.

Serving Suggestions:

If you’re having it as the main portion of your meal I personally feel it’s brilliant on its own, but a nice hunk of crusty french bread also works. This is another soup that is just dying for nice peppy light beer. The usual Thai accompaniment is a Singha.

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So… there’s 3 suggestions. Anyone have any others? Post

them on the wiki!

Pump up the Jam

Trying to clear out my kitchen before I move home I made the following the other night… excellent stuff.

 

Cherry Peach Jam


This is a really tasty sweet jam recipe that I adapted from a crazily overdone one I found elsewhere on the net. The cherry juice turns the peaches a beautiful ruby colour and the aroma while it’s cooking is to die for.

 

Ingredients

  • 8 Normal Sized Peaches (Washed and pitted/chopped, I leave skins on but you can remove if you prefer)
  • 2 Cups Cherries (chopped)
  • 4 cups sugar
  • 2 boxes pectin (peach jam takes extra pectin as there isn’t a ton of natural
  • 1/4 cup lime juice
  • Butter (optional, to remove scum)

 

Method

  • Sterilize your jars and keep them nice and warm so the temperature shock of the hot jam doesn’t shatter them.
  • Chop your fruit, then combine in blender or food processor. (You can also mash with a potato masher, but it takes a while)
  • Process until you hit the desired consistency, I like my jam a little chunky but you can get it as smooth as you want.
  • Move the fruit to a pot, add your pectin and lime juice.
  • Bring to a boil
  • Add the sugar, then bring to a rolling boil
  • Once it’s boiling, cook while stirring vigourously for 5 minutes or so
  • The scum that forms at the top is harmless, but doesn’t look very nice in your jam, stir in about a tbsp of butter and much of it will dissipate. If some remains you can add more butter, or remove it with a spoon.
  • Ladle hot jam into jars, ideally with a canning funnel, but you can do without.
  • Seal jars and process for 10 Minutes in a boiling water bath.

Super super tasty and really quick for a jam. Made excellent farewell gifts at the office as I finish my second last week.  More content to come soon.

Summer Recipe Time

The warm summer months are here for most of us  (apologies to my 2.5 million southern hemisphere readers) and I feel inspired to share a fantastic looking recipe from our sister site GoonsWithSpoons.com

This was an entry from Sirrobin for the 5th Iron Chef Something Awful competition (Battle: Cookies)

Chocolate Chip Raspberry Ripple Ice Cream Sandwich Cookies

ice-cream-sandwiches