Thoughts on Godzilla

A friend and I took advantage of getting home from work at a reasonable hour and caught a 3D showing of Godzilla this week. While we’d both read several positive reviews we both had our doubts after Hollywood’s last attempt at a blockbuster involving the big guy. We were both pleasantly surprised when despite some issues we quite enjoyed it.

I think both Kym and I agreed that the film succeeded in spite of itself, probably due to some last minute editing. The core of the story is supposed to be the family dynamic between Bryan Cranston’s character, his son (played by Aaron Taylor-Johnson) and his son’s wife (Elizabeth Olsen) and son.  We are supposed to care deeply about the son getting home to his family after trying to help his dad in Japan. Unfortunately Johnson seems to have decided (or been directed) to play his soldier character as blandy stoic as possible (the guy is quite lively and likeable in other films, just not here.) Simultaneously his quest to return home from japan is an increasingly ridiculous deus ex machine to get him to pretty much every monster attack point in the film. Elizabeth Olsen is entirely wasted as the wife waiting patiently because her man said he’d come for her (/rolleyes.) Rather hilariously the marketing department seems to have realized how boring this plotline is as well and Johnson/Olsen are barely featured in the trailer, Johnson has one line and two focused shots while Cranston and Watanabe narrate the entire thing. Don’t get me wrong Cranston is awesome but the trailer makes it look as if he’s the star of the film, not a supporting character. Speaking of actors being wasted Ken Watanabe and David Strathhairn are both criminally underused. There are quite a few sudden time jumps in the movie that could have made for a more compelling narrative if the producers hadn’t felt the need to give half of the film over to family melodrama.

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Three Quick Hits: Tron Edition

2146_app_temperature-sensitive_glass_tiles_shower_big

Check out these amazing temperature sensitive glass tiles. Their website has a number of pretty funky uses for them but I think my favorite is the shower setup. Definitely like a mood ring for your walls, they’d probably make an excellent kitchen backsplash. The only downside? At $33 for a 4×4 tile, I’m looking at $18,000ish just to do my tub surround, doing my whole bathroom would be more like 35 grand.
Check out the website here, hat tip to MentalFloss

If you’re like me you’re probably excited about the upcoming Tron Sequel, especially after the latest trailer. It honestly looks like they may have been faithful to the original yet expanded the idea. Even if you’re not a massive Tron fan, the one thing you likely know from the movie is the lightcycle concept and the accompanying visuals. The NightBright Tire is ostensibly a safety item, but I think we all know where the inspiration came from and the real reason they sell them:
nightbright

Lastly, if you’re a Tron fan with some money to waste, why not consider a functional, road legal replica of the lightcycle from the upcoming film. Only $35,000 USD will get you a custom built lightcycle in one of five colours. You can even have your choice of gasoline or electric engine for the thing. From the ebay page:

The back cover opens up at the push of a button and there is a neon glow that exits from the back of the bike to resemble the lightcycles colored light trail from the original game. These bikes will also come with a TRON style helmet (Not DOT Approved)

Amazing, and since these guys are the guys that did the batpod replica I can see it actually being built too.

lightcycle

The word “unnecessary” springs to mind… as does the word “shite”

 

So I went to see I love you, Man last week. (funny enough movie, Jason Segel and Paul Rudd lovable and hilarious as always) Before the film I was hit with the preview for the latest Wayans Bros. movie…

 

If you haven’t had the pleasure, let me introduce you to the concept of “Dance Flick.” The Wayans Brothers (including new generation member Damon Jr.) have decided to do an incredibly timely spoof of dancing movies. Note also that it is Flick rather than Movie… lest they be confused with Friedberg and Seltzer and their Epic, Date, Teen etc movies.

 

From IMDB:

Street dancer Thomas Uncles is from the wrong side of the tracks, but his bond with the beautiful Megan White might help the duo realize their dreams as the enter in the mother of all dance battles

 

Sound familiar?

 

Yes, that’s right we’re getting a parody of Save the Last Dance, a movie released almost a decade ago, talk about timely. From what I saw in the preview I’d also say there’s some elements of Center Stage (2000) and other fantastic films. Thank you Senors Wayans, let’s hope you reach the heights of comedy you hit in “Little Man.”

Awesomely terrible death scenes…

The topic of terrible cinematic death scenes came up on Twitter today (I believe originally to me via Bill Corbett) and this glorious gem was posted.

http://www.cinematical.com/2009/03/06/discuss-worst-death-scene-ever/

As you gather your wits after that stupidity, I’d like to ask… What are your favorite incredibly stupid but really funny as a result death scenes from movies? There’s a fine line between something like the previous which seems (I hope) to be tongue in cheek but still within the plot of the movie over to something that’s totally meant as comedy. 

A few personal favorites:

Not truly cinematic, but the return of the helicopter from the television show E.R. A few years after he loses his arm to a helicopter tail rotor, Dr. Robert Romano is killed by another helicopter falling off the roof and onto his head. It’s so incredibly over the top dumb yet awesome.

Troll 2: Almost any death in this movie is incredibly drawn out and stupid, but the ones where they turn into liquified green goo are especially horrid. Staying within the MST3K/Rifftrax genre gives us a bunch of other options of course. Every single railing death in Space Mutiny would be a candidate, Torgo’s “erotic” massage in Manos and so on. They’re almost too easy as targets though… here’s a nice compilation of the ultra cheesy.

Welsey Snipes final passing in demolition man (which was so incredibly telegraphed) …

Bond killing Blofeld in Never Say Never Again by dropping him down the smokestack was so over the top stupid yet undoubtedly entertaining.

What would your choice be?

If you haven’t seen Coraline yet…

coraline

Get out tonight to see it in 3D. Neil Gaiman’s twitter reminded me today that the Jonas Bros in 3D is likely to take over all the  3D capable screens at a theatre near you tomorrow.

You owe it to yourself not to miss this in 3D as it’s one of the few movies where it’s used to make the movie better through and through as opposed to just a gimick.

You know, Heath was great and all but…

If I have to hear one more newscast or oscar synopsis about how he “turned a comic book character into a psychopathic monster” (and other comments about how he apparently singlehandedly came up with his performance) I’m going to cry.

 

I’m sorry Mr. or Ms. copywriter or reporter or whatnot that your only experience with the Joker character appears to be from Adam West’s camp-o-rama batstravaganza but perhaps you should do some research. Without even diving into the books we can look at Nicholson’s performance… a very different Joker but with a similar psychotic malevolence. Jack and Heath are doing the same character… albeit as shaded by the very different Gotham’s imagined by Tim Burton and Chris Nolan. (For the record I enjoyed TDK but I despised Batman Begins, but that’s a whole other argument)

 

If we dive into the books we can find many instances of an even crueler and vicious Joker. I see Ledger’s character as having a slight glimmer of self control left, almost invisible… many of the books have the Joker fast past that point.

 

I’m glad he won his Oscar as it was a great performance for a fairly good movie that a ton of people saw. Hopefully a few of the people that tuned in to the Oscars to see that moment also saw a few other movies that tempted them. And speaking of Jack… where the hell was he, internet rumour seems divided on whether he snubbed presenting an oscar and was in turn snubbed by the cameras or if he’s sick?

Alan Moore’s sandy vagina…

Don’t get me wrong, I love Alan Moore’s work, I love Watchmen in particular but he’s a hypocritical angry old hash addict. In the lead up to the Watchmen release the media have been writing the usual stories about Alan Moore. We all know that Moore doesn’t like the idea of film adaptations of his work… he liked it fine when he took the money to sell the rights to various things in the first place, but that’s a whole other argument. Regardless he can do whatever he want then come screaming back later about how he disavows it and know that the hard-core fanboys will blindly follow his lead and ignore the fortune he’s making.

 

There’s no question the film will not be a direct representation of the original, that’s simply impossible. I just hope that it’s a great movie that tries to keep the spirit of the original alive while appealing to a broader audience (not LCD, but broader). Comic book zealots who think only a frame by frame translation will do are completely deluding themselves. It’s impossible both in terms of a watchable time frame for the movie (no matter how much I love the subject matter I’d have trouble sitting through a 4 or 5 hour movie :p) and also in terms of content.

 

Many fans are up in arms about Director Zack Snyder extending fight scenes and pumping up the action in the movie. I hate to say it folks, while I’m also a bit hesitant about his touch (I was not a huge fan of 300) the movie does need to have more action. People who aren’t familiar with Watchmen will expect a certain level of action and if they don’t get it, the movie will not do well. No matter what, if the movie was only tailored towards hard core comic book fans it would crash and crash hard. If a few more action scenes are the price I have to pay to get a think-piece like Watchmen out there and get more people to read the actual book (and that sort of comic in general) I’m all for it. The movie most of these fans want would cost an absolute fortune and make no money (no, book fans alone can not support that kind of budget) and we’d be stuck with “safe” crap like Spidey and xmen 3 as our only superhero flicks while anything with a brain was left to rot in development as “too risky.”

 

My biggest level of disgust comes with the total wanks who are complaining about  what the marketing machine is doing to Watchmen. They see the book being featured in stores and toys being marketed and they start whining about things being contrary to the spirit blah blah blah… I’m with you on things like coffee tie-ins and fast food (though I don’t think I’ve heard of one, at least not yet) but how the fuck is it a bad thing that I can walk into chapters and see a display of Watchmen.  It’s a great book with some great topics and if someone walks in and picks it up because the movie looks cool and really really loves it… how is that a bad thing? Am I missing some fundamental connection where the fact that I can now have a Nite Owl or Doctor Manhattan figure on my desk from Toys-r-us ruins your personal enjoyment of the book? Someone new is being brought into serious graphic novels is a bad thing? Get your head out of your ass and if you don’t want to see the movie, don’t see it.

 

And Alan, quit bogarting the good stuff.