Earworms

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Why is it that certain songs stick in your head so intensely? It’s as if songs are tiny musical worms boring into your grey matter. Everyone’s experienced this with certain terrible and overplayed radio fodder. Some of these horrible tunes are so omnipresent when you’re shopping or on tv/commercials that you could probably sing all or parts of them without even knowing the title or artist. A couple recent examples would be pokerface, that milkshake song or Single Ladies. Unfortunately for humanity, we have a finite amount of memory in our grey matter, who knows what important knowledge is being overwritten with a Ke$ha song at this very minute.

It’s not all terrible of course, if a catchy good song gets stuck in my head I’ll likely remember it to the point where the vocal part becomes a lot easier when it’s released for Rock Band. As much fun as it is to sometimes do the vocals and guitar or drums simultaneously, is it really worth having to look up the formula for the volume of a sphere next time you need it?

It’s definitely the songs from your adolescence that are really lodged in there. My father appears to be able to sing every three dog night song from memory despite the band having broken up for the first time in 1976. I especially noticed this when I recently fired up Grooveshark and queued up the entirely of the Barenaked Ladies Gordon album.

My friends Christ, Geoff and I all listened to Gordon pretty much nonstop for a while. It was released in July of 1992 when I was 13 years old and I kid you not, when the songs started to play, I could still sing them front to back with zero mistakes. Next I threw on BNL’s Maybe You Should Drive and Moxy Fruvous: Bargainville, same deal… though with MYSD I at least occasionally made a mistake. Gordon, Bargainville and tapes of Simpsons episodes were always on the mini boombox for late evenings in our tents at scout camps, usually accompanying a game of Asshole or Crib.

Incidentally, is anyone else amused that the Album cover changed on its reissue? By then they were going a little more mainsteam, Stephen had lost a fair bit of weight, Ed and Tyler had radically changed their looks and Andy had left the band. I suppose it’s fair because their image had changed a lot. It wasn’t until recently that they started once again putting pictures of themselves on the album covers. I’m guessing they were a bit embarrassed by the photos on the front of Gordon, but it’s always how I’ll remember the album (which I originally listened to in Cassette tape glory.)

This got me thinking, what other albums did I listen to a ton of front to back from 1992ish to 1997? The Counting Crows for sure, a few individual grunge albums, Melancholy and the Infinite Sadness, terrible 1990’s aerosmith, Dookie, and a lot of soundtracks/orchestral as I got really into music at school.

I’m sure there’s something I’m forgetting, anyone have an iconic (or idiotic) 90s album they remember front to back?

Really Apple?

Apple’s design team takes another nosedive into stupidity today.

What were once some of the nicest notebooks on the market have been neutered yet again as Apple has eliminated removable batteries from the macbook line. Another fun change is exchanging the express slot (on most models) for an SD card slot rather than just adding the SD slot like almost every other notebook out there.

I’ve seen quotes from WWDC saying that the battery is good for 1000 charges or 5 years for most people according to them (I don’t know about all of you but my laptop would certainly charge 1000 times faster than 5 years.) There’s also no discussion of diminished charge levels after a while. Anyone who travels a ton and relies on having a spare battery for long flights or long days will tell you they won’t be buying a macbook next time around. It’s all well and good for those who can afford the swank flights with the individual airplane plugs etc… (Though some flights now require you to buy the airline’s particular adapter, ask Neil Gaiman :p ) but most of us still ride coach on the best deal we can get for our particular dates.

What’s happened to Apple’s industrial design group? As a designer I’d always argue that Apple tends to stray way too far into form over function in their hardware but this is getting ridiculous…

edit: Though at least they’re getting cheaper… especially the air. I still maintain that it’s a waste of money for a not amazing machine, but good god they’re even prettier at that price.

You know, Heath was great and all but…

If I have to hear one more newscast or oscar synopsis about how he “turned a comic book character into a psychopathic monster” (and other comments about how he apparently singlehandedly came up with his performance) I’m going to cry.

 

I’m sorry Mr. or Ms. copywriter or reporter or whatnot that your only experience with the Joker character appears to be from Adam West’s camp-o-rama batstravaganza but perhaps you should do some research. Without even diving into the books we can look at Nicholson’s performance… a very different Joker but with a similar psychotic malevolence. Jack and Heath are doing the same character… albeit as shaded by the very different Gotham’s imagined by Tim Burton and Chris Nolan. (For the record I enjoyed TDK but I despised Batman Begins, but that’s a whole other argument)

 

If we dive into the books we can find many instances of an even crueler and vicious Joker. I see Ledger’s character as having a slight glimmer of self control left, almost invisible… many of the books have the Joker fast past that point.

 

I’m glad he won his Oscar as it was a great performance for a fairly good movie that a ton of people saw. Hopefully a few of the people that tuned in to the Oscars to see that moment also saw a few other movies that tempted them. And speaking of Jack… where the hell was he, internet rumour seems divided on whether he snubbed presenting an oscar and was in turn snubbed by the cameras or if he’s sick?

Alan Moore’s sandy vagina…

Don’t get me wrong, I love Alan Moore’s work, I love Watchmen in particular but he’s a hypocritical angry old hash addict. In the lead up to the Watchmen release the media have been writing the usual stories about Alan Moore. We all know that Moore doesn’t like the idea of film adaptations of his work… he liked it fine when he took the money to sell the rights to various things in the first place, but that’s a whole other argument. Regardless he can do whatever he want then come screaming back later about how he disavows it and know that the hard-core fanboys will blindly follow his lead and ignore the fortune he’s making.

 

There’s no question the film will not be a direct representation of the original, that’s simply impossible. I just hope that it’s a great movie that tries to keep the spirit of the original alive while appealing to a broader audience (not LCD, but broader). Comic book zealots who think only a frame by frame translation will do are completely deluding themselves. It’s impossible both in terms of a watchable time frame for the movie (no matter how much I love the subject matter I’d have trouble sitting through a 4 or 5 hour movie :p) and also in terms of content.

 

Many fans are up in arms about Director Zack Snyder extending fight scenes and pumping up the action in the movie. I hate to say it folks, while I’m also a bit hesitant about his touch (I was not a huge fan of 300) the movie does need to have more action. People who aren’t familiar with Watchmen will expect a certain level of action and if they don’t get it, the movie will not do well. No matter what, if the movie was only tailored towards hard core comic book fans it would crash and crash hard. If a few more action scenes are the price I have to pay to get a think-piece like Watchmen out there and get more people to read the actual book (and that sort of comic in general) I’m all for it. The movie most of these fans want would cost an absolute fortune and make no money (no, book fans alone can not support that kind of budget) and we’d be stuck with “safe” crap like Spidey and xmen 3 as our only superhero flicks while anything with a brain was left to rot in development as “too risky.”

 

My biggest level of disgust comes with the total wanks who are complaining about  what the marketing machine is doing to Watchmen. They see the book being featured in stores and toys being marketed and they start whining about things being contrary to the spirit blah blah blah… I’m with you on things like coffee tie-ins and fast food (though I don’t think I’ve heard of one, at least not yet) but how the fuck is it a bad thing that I can walk into chapters and see a display of Watchmen.  It’s a great book with some great topics and if someone walks in and picks it up because the movie looks cool and really really loves it… how is that a bad thing? Am I missing some fundamental connection where the fact that I can now have a Nite Owl or Doctor Manhattan figure on my desk from Toys-r-us ruins your personal enjoyment of the book? Someone new is being brought into serious graphic novels is a bad thing? Get your head out of your ass and if you don’t want to see the movie, don’t see it.

 

And Alan, quit bogarting the good stuff.

In the words of Frou Frou the talking cat

There’s no place like home…

 

 

Waterloo's Tallest Building
Waterloo's Tallest Building

 

There are varying degrees of culture shock that one gets upon moving away from one’s birthplace for the first time. Maybe you moved to Europe for school and you’re learning a new language (or multiple new languages). Perhaps you went to Australia for a year to find yourself (more likely to find beer and people of loose morals of the gender of your choice.) Or perhaps you only moved to Ontario…

 

As most of you who read this blog know, I recently (temporarily) moved to Waterloo Ontario to take an internship at Research in Motion inc. proud manufacturers of BlackBerry and BlackBerry related products. Is it whiny and lame of me to complain of culture shock moving to southern Ontario from Manitoba? Yeah, probably… but it’s more a combo of wistful homesickness and culture shock anyway.

 

Waterloo is an incredibly white town, somewhere around 90% of the city is very white, mostly of Germanic descent. The universities thankfully break this up a bit, bringing a more diverse student base, especially of asian backgrounds. As someone from Manitoba however, the absence of any significant aboriginal population is somewhat jarring. I was actually specifically told that I might want to consider not broadcasting the fact that I’m Metis as this area doesn’t have the greatest reputation of friendliness towards first nations people. I’m not entirely surprised as the city is fairly affluent and definitely seems to cultivate a wholesome whitebread image.

 

The weirdest things have been making me home sick… I’m the first to claim that Winnipeg drivers suck, but at least we’re relatively friendly. People in southern Ontario like to come very close to running down a pedestrian in a parking lot at least once daily, and will NOT come to a stop at crosswalks even if you’re already halfway across. When people pass you on the highway, they will cut back in front of you within 2 feet of your bumper, even if the lane is clear ahead and there is no one on their tale. One of the weirdest things that I still find jarring after two months is the sheer length of light patterns. Pressure plates seem to be non-existent here and many of the intersections near my place have light patterns in excess of 90 seconds.

 

Culinarily I’ve been having issues too, needless to say I can’t get anything George’s like here (though I’ve been pleased by being reunited with Popeye’s Chicken) and overall ethnic food wise the place doesn’t hold a candle to Winnipeg. The single greatest tragedy is the lack (at least that I’ve been able to find) of any true thai restaurants. Most of the Vietnamese restaurants in town bill themselves as Vietnamese and Thai food, but invariably their Thai dishes consist of a shitty tomato based Pad Thai and various Vietnamese style noodly bowls with “thai chicken” which near as I can tell just means they put extra lime juice or lime leaves in. If you’re especially lucky you might find a lackluster Tom Kha Gai soup.  This wouldn’t be a crushing disappointment if it weren’t also very difficult to find Thai ingredients in the limited local asian markets. Proper thai curry pastes are nowhere to be found, much less something like Matsuman, but at least I can make some semi-proper pad thai. What I wouldn’t give to be able to head down to Vientiane tonight though…

 

You might think I should be thankful for the weather, but to be honest, other than the week of death back in January (Winnipeg: coldest place on the continent… beating out the ARCTIC CIRCLE) temperatures have not been far apart and we’ve gotten an absolute ton of snow that has made the wussy people around here hibernate even more. Even getting someone to go for a drink after work is like pulling teeth. I’m told things will get better here with the coming of summer and the festival season, but all I can say is thank god for movies and the internet. Regardless, summer brings Fringe back home and unless I can swing a trip back it’ll be the first festival that I’ve missed all of in well over a decade.

 

Matters are not helped by the fact that the famous southern Ontario attitude is alive and well here… Not long after arriving here I was shopping at best buy for a movie and happened to mention that I was new to the city and trying to keep myself occupied until I met some people. His response when he found out I was from Winnipeg. “So I guess things are a little more fast paced here hey? – – – Yeah that’s right buddy…Kitchener (population ~200k) is too fast paced for me, your towering downtown skyline of 3 or 4 buildings over 10 stories tall just blows my little prairie mind. Wake up, even Regina has a bigger downtown core than this dinky little town. I guess merely by being within 2 hours of downtown Toronto I should feel overwhelmed by the I AM CANADA aura that is the GTA.

 

Sorry, no dice.

In which the Winnipeg Fringe Festival is about to begin…

It’s almost Fringe time… A few days from now the area surrounding Winnipeg’s Old Market Square will be filled with Venue desks, theatregoers and food trucks. 12 straight days of theatre goodness for increasingly not low prices await the citizens of Winnipeg who haven’t fled to cottages or holidays. The program this year looks passable, though not quite as good as recent years to my mind.

There seems to be a surplus of “OMG GAY” and “OMG FEMINIST” crap plays this year, though of course it’s hard to make a judgement based just on the program description (though I fully expect to see that first impression justified by eventual reviews.) It makes me curious though, who wants to watch this crap? None of my gay friends want to have anything to do with these incredibly stereotypical pieces of “art.” As one friend put it… “Why on earth would I want to waste an hour watching someone camp up their queen side to sell tickets to middle aged women.”

Perhaps it’s just that older housewife/soccer mom demo who see soaking up a bit of “gay culture” (even though it’s nothing of the sort) as something naughty that spices up their day. It would certainly explain how Steven and Chris have gotten renewed for another year. My opinion? If you want to see a good play about gay issues go see something like “Bash’d” from last year that is both a funny play about gay culture and also addresses important issues.

As for the “feminist” plays, ok, we get it, not enough plays are written about women’s issues, I totally agree. Don’t you think that rather than simply making play after play that’s ranting about it without any other quality to the (what can only loosely be termed) play you should maybe just write a genuine funny or dramatic play that approaches and discusses women’s issues? If you want to preach to the choir by ranting to a small crowd of people perhaps get into stand-up instead? I sometimes wonder if some of these acts are simply “I ran out of time to write my actual play and the program deadline is in a few days” moments.

In other “shitty premise” news… someone is doing a Napoleon Dynamite themed play. Really? I mean honestly? You don’t think you missed the boat on that one bud? I may be in the minority as I despised the movie except for the inclusion of the awesome Tina Majorino.

In happier news:

Old favourites Sound and Fury are back again with a Sherlock Holmes spoof that’s sure to be awesome. They’re also in the comparatively huge Gas Station this year after having been stuck in Cinematheque last time. For a group that solidly filled warehouse on a regular basis in their previous appearances I’m not sure what the schedulers were thinking last year shoving them into that tiny venue (especially given some of the crap that played to empty houses at the bigger venues.)

Speaking of Cinematheque they are apparently not a venue this year but are instead showing a regular schedule during the fringe. I’d question the wisdom of this except for the fact that the second Friday of the fest they’re showing “Monty Python and the Holy Grail” complete with a serving of Mead, delicious!

T.J. Dawe is back again (or perhaps not back since he now lives here) and will no doubt be performing to packed houses from day one. Here’s hoping they give him a big venue with a small stage since it’s ideal for him and shitty for a lot of people who get assigned them. I hope I get to see him this year, but getting into his shows without an advance ticket is such a PITA and I prefer to get about with my Buddy Pass.

Chris Craddock is giving Winnipeggers a second chance to see pornStar, which was a hit back in 2005. Here’s hoping I get to see it this time, Craddock is quickly becoming my favourite of the new crop of Fringe playwrights.

Screwed and Clued is back for the first time in a while, I haven’t yet heard who’s in the actual cast for this one but hopefully it’s a continuation of the funny we’ve seen in past years. Also returning are perennial improv artists ImproVision who hopefully have a better venue this year as well.

Yours truly is going to try to enjoy the festival despite the never ending rain of shit that has been falling on him this summer. I’m dedicating my fringing this year to the memory of my grandmother who first introduced me to the festival and who passed away last fall.

The Minnesota Two-Step

I spent last weekend south of the border indulging in my penchant for adrenaline on the (admittedly somewhat tame compared to some) roller coasters at valley fair. Much as we’re tempted these days to think that culturally Canada is quite similiar to the states I always get a reminder that that isn’t totally the case when I visit a decent sized yank city.

There is such a fundamental culture of excess down there. Every single possible niche of consumer goods is filled, overfilled in fact. Giant Big Box retail stores (some the size of minor league hockey arenas) that cater to one incredibly specific product. Back when Weird Al made U.H.F we all though Spatula City was funny but ridiculous, but honestly how far away from that are we?

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The dark hunger of the soul…

Hot Pocket Passive Aggressive Notes

I noticed this at my old government job as well, anything hotpocket-ish (be it HP’s, Pizza Pops or whatever) is stolen far more frequently than anything else I kept in the fridge. There was really little excuse in my building as well since there was so often free food kicking around.

Is it to do with the portable form factor of the food? Perhaps one can be stealthier in microwaving and eating a Hot Pocket than say a Michelina’s Fettucini Alfredo, there is after all always the chance that someone will see you washing the fork (or alternatively noticing a bundle of plastic forks in your desk.)

The more I read of passiveaggressivenotes.com the more I realize that some people are just unfit to share any sort of communal space. I actually don’t mind not having access to the lounge at my place of employment (I’m not permanent staff so no staff lounge, nor a grad student so no GSA lounge) for that reason. In truth it makes me eat at my desk while working too, which in turn means I get to leave early.

Apparently there is a dark hunger in man’s soul that can only be only be sated by food in pocket form.