Raisa’s Hubby battles Zombies for the Rodina

As many people know I’m a bit of a Russophile; I love old propaganda posters and probably know more Soviet and Russian history (both political and military) than I realistically should as a Canadian kid who grew up in the 80’s. I know how to swear in Russian, took a year of Russian in university (which honestly only made me better at pronouncing things in a russian accent) and have read any number of books on subjects involving the country. It turns out I’ve missed something major about one of the most important leaders of the USSR.

No one can deny the effect that Mikhail Gorbachev had upon the modern world but very few people knew that he was an ass kicking, zombie fighting super hero! As much as I was mildly terrified by the ketchup stain on his head as a kid, it turns out there was far more powerful things to be concerned about. The following video for Russian Metal Band ANJ corrects that startling oversight.


GORBACHOV: THE MUSIC VIDEO – BIGGER AND RUSSIANER from Tom Stern on Vimeo.

Vote for my “Awesome” boot!

Doc Marten’s is having a contest whereby they’ll actually make one of these. I just want to see how far I can get up with stupid ideas. The goons from SomethingAwful.com are thoroughly ruining the contest already for the enjoyment of all. Go vote “Love it!” for my boot!

The World Series of Donkey Liquification

I hope everyone who enjoys poker has been following the World Series of Poker the past few weeks. I have no doubt the ESPN coverage will start appearing on TV as soon as they can finish editing it but it’s entertaining to follow along online as it happens. ESPN will never let you know the behind the scenes stories and the less “TV friendly” moments.

So far this year has been “the year of the pro” with professionals taking home a large percentage of the 50+ WSOP bracelets but now it’s Main Event time. For those less than familiar with the WSOP the Main Event is a $10k NLHE tourney (Translation: No Limit Texas Hold’Em with a $10,000 buy-in to play.) This is the event Chris Moneymaker won not so long ago that set off this whole poker extravaganza. It’s the event that ESPN loves to make hay out of and it’s an event with a pretty incredible payout pool.

Over 6800 people started in the main event (and yes, that means there is $68 MILLION in play minus the rake) and after two days 1308 remain. To put that in perspective, somewhere around 1/3 of the total prize money for all 55 WSOP events is in play for just the Main Event. First place will take home just over $9.1 million dollars and just making the final table guarantees you just short of a million. 666 degenerate sinners will cash and make at least double their money back.

A lot of discussion has ensued this year about the downturn in poker and how the organizers had to scrape by last years entrant number by the skin of their teeth. I still maintain that between the government stupidity in the states and the fact that it’s now been a few years since Moneymaker even seeing a moderately significant downturn would have been pretty amazing. Sadly I’ve come to accept that by the time I have 10k to throw away just to say I’ve played in the Main Event we’ll likely be back down to less amazing numbers but it’ll still be one hell of an experience. $1,500 NLHE or something? Definitely in the next few years. It may be stupid, but a nice payday and a Mr. T bracelet would be awfully nice.

Stupidly enough though, the WSOP has decided to delay the final table five months until sometime in November. One can only imagine the backdoor wheeling and dealing that can (and will) happen during that layoff. I missed whatever explanation they had for it but I certainly find it frustrating… I can only imagine what it’ll be like for those actually sitting there.

If you’re interested in following along a good first step is Poker News and you should definitely visit the The Tao of Poker with Dr. Pauly for a more behind the scenes view. One should be aware that the WSOP started at the end of may and some of these folks have been sweating the entire things with at most a couple of days off. The tone of the writing tends to get a little… darker… towards the end of things.

Goons With Spoons Wiki Sticker Contest

Hot Fun in the Summertime (or something)
GoonsWithSpoons.com

It’s summertime, we’re featuring our new chili page on the front of the wiki and barbecue season is in full swing. Given the recent anniversary and the fact that I haven’t done it in a while I figured it was time for a giveaway.

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The World’s Five Greatest Alarm Clocks

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Some people have trouble waking up… apparently a lot of trouble. Some simply fall into a near death state when they sleep and could sleep through a nuclear detonation until the skin bubbling off their bones felt a little itchy, others wage a daily war with their snooze button. Most of these products are geared towards the latter and are designed to make the silencing process require enough thought that it’s impossible to do in near sleep conditions. Most of these products are available through that bastion of awesome products with punishingly unfair Canadian shipping ThinkGeek.com (only 85% bitter.)

More after the jump…

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Don’t you put it in your mouth

Real… Ick!

What canadian kid of recent generations can forget this classic video. To this day all I have do is sing “Don’t you put in your mouth” at a gathering of friends and at least a couple people will join in with the entire first verse. The hilarious WTF nature of the puppets always made it a favorite too.

The mentalfloss blog had an entry today about creepy kids TV and that video was on it. I never really got a downright creepy vibe from it though on second glance the face of the girl puppet is downright demonic mid closeup.

I can’t say that I see the this clip as anything but scarring for little kids. I love the works of the late great Samuel Clemens more than I can say, but man the combination of what is already a bit out there of a story with some skin crawlingly creepy claymation produces what I could only call guaranteed nightmare fodder for those under 10. Hell, I found it creepier than 99% of the “horror” schlock hollywood puts out these days. This episode of the adventures of Mark Twain was apparently banned from TV after one showing.

Saaattttaaannn…

Oddly enough I haven’t actually read the story in question… but yikes!

The rest of the videos don’t quite reach that level though the pure comedy factor of the following necessitate a link.

From The New Zoo Revue (which by itself sounds like a goat-happy alternative lifestyle magazine) we learn about sex!

70’s Hair

And one that’s apparently from a PBS show called “Many Voices, Many Visions” that, while obviously heavily edited and probably missing a ton of context, is still pretty cringe-worthy.

Little Black Boy

Thanks to Ransom Riggs over at Mentalfloss for making my morning… Check out their site!

The Minnesota Two-Step

I spent last weekend south of the border indulging in my penchant for adrenaline on the (admittedly somewhat tame compared to some) roller coasters at valley fair. Much as we’re tempted these days to think that culturally Canada is quite similiar to the states I always get a reminder that that isn’t totally the case when I visit a decent sized yank city.

There is such a fundamental culture of excess down there. Every single possible niche of consumer goods is filled, overfilled in fact. Giant Big Box retail stores (some the size of minor league hockey arenas) that cater to one incredibly specific product. Back when Weird Al made U.H.F we all though Spatula City was funny but ridiculous, but honestly how far away from that are we?

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A pocket full of sky…

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Some of you may remember the video that’s been floating around the internet forever of the guy dancing in random places around the world. His name is Matt and he’s actually just released a new one (available on youtube or via his site.) For most internet videos the story would end there but in browsing his site I’ve been enjoying his travel journal.

From his earlier trips running cheap across Asia to his ascent up Kilimanjaro and even in his more recent journeys sponsored by Stride Gum his travel stories evoke vivid images of far off landscapes. Most of us won’t get to dance with penguins in Antartica or with the Moai on Easter Island and it’s nice to get to live vicariously through those get to see these awesome places. Matt firmly denies that his dancing videos had any purpose or message other than being silly in the first place but one can easily find several. Yet despite these claims I’d argue that his message has become a mantra about the importance of not only living vicariously, to get out and travel more. He quite consistently brings up the fact that young people elsewhere around the world constantly get out and travel yet he’s always receiving emails from Americans asking how he did it. I’d throw Canadians into that mix as well though I think in general we’re slightly better about leaving our home territory (though generally staying within Canada or the NAFTA area.)

And so, what apparently started as a site to keep family and friends apprised of his current location on his first trip years ago now comes across as something more. It’s a blog that follows his sweet new gig as a globe-trotting gum-endorsed “bad dancer” but also a springboard for people to see these beautiful images and great stories and hopefully say… “Man I’ve got to get off my ass and see the world.”

Learning about other people and places should be on everyone’s to do list. I won’t get into the whole one world one love hippy bandwagon but I do firmly believe that the more experiences you collect the richer life you’ll lead. Unfortunately I haven’t gotten to travel as much as I want to but a decent backpacking trip is on my radar for post-graduation. Step one is a tour of Cornwall this summer with some time in London as well.

In any case, there’s absolutely no excuse for having never left your home province or state. At the very least buy a cheap tent and a sleeping bag and spend a week driving in a random direction with a AAA guidebook of campgrounds.

I wholeheartedly encourage you to check out wherethehellismatt.com and start from some of his older trips and follow his journeys. Try as I might I doubt I’ll ever swim with whale sharks in the Seychelles but I really enjoyed reading and seeing the pictures.
I leave you with another picture of one of my favorite moments of his trips: The salt flats near Uyuni, Bolivia.

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Even the damn robots are texting…

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Twitter is all the rage these days. Taking the concept of a constantly updated Facebook or MSN status and running with it, there are thousands of users updating their every move via web or cell phone.

It seems now that the robots are getting in on the act…

Yesterday afternoon the Mars Phoenix Lander posted this on its Twitter:

Are you ready to celebrate? Well, get ready: We have ICE!!!!! Yes, ICE, *WATER ICE* on Mars! w00t!!! Best day ever!!

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