I’m a huge fan of The Onion’s AVClub site. One might even call me a die-hard fan. Yet sometimes I hate their living, breathing guts.
Once a year the writers take a break from practicing blood rites to whatever dark god has given them their dream jobs. This much needed break from the drudgery of watching movies, listening to new albums and playing rock band gives them a chance to visit the All Candy Expo, held annually in Chicago. Yes, the All Candy Expo is exactly what it sounds like: Willy Wonka meets convention center. Candy Manufacturers from all over converge and hawk their products. The big boys like M&M/Mars and Hershey push new products and new flavours of old products, while small time folks try to become the “next big thing” for buyers from all over the world. Luckily they let journalists in too, as the loot attests:
Hey kids! It’s time for another installment of 3 Quick Hits. Three things I find silly or cool or whatnot but that don’t really merit me writing much about them.
A fully transformable Ravage! Turning into a mini-cassette is so 80’s, all the cool kids these days use flash drives right? I am somewhat ashamed to admit how much I’d pay for a full set of these (or at least Ravage, Rumble and Razorbeak). Makes you wonder what form soundwave would take these days though, would he just be a laptop? An iPod seems a bit tiny for the coolest of all Decepticons, perhaps of all Transformers (and no, Blaster was nowhere near as cool… the autobot tapes were nowhere near as cool)
Numero Dos:
A commercial from bizaaro-world in North Carolina, I really hope this is an elaborate prank but I still spit juice onto my keyboard.
3rd shout out goes to the good old AVclub for their recent two part article on Ridiculous and Terrifying killer robots.
I was quite pleased to see Maximillian from The Black Hole on there, but how are the short Circuit Robots not on there as ridiculous? A force of killing machines that can be stopped with a 3 stooges routine… sounds great!
Old news for some, but sadly even in the internet age uk-tv related news is not always easy to hear over here.
Simon Amstell has apparently retired as host of the BBC’s Music quiz/comedy show: Never Mind the Buzzcocks in order to spend more time touring as a straight (har!) standup artist.
This marks the second recent loss of a long-time cast member from NMTB as Bill Bailey left after the conclusion of the second-to-last series(season) last year. Phil Juputus remains as a team captain and frequent guest captain Noel Fielding of The Mighty Boosh will be taking over Bill’s chair permanently. Current rumours say the host position will be guest chaired for the coming season, apparently now not due til the fall. Hopefully they get another permanent host with the right combination of snark and deadpan.
Simon, we’ll miss you, come do the north american fringe circuit!
Check out a great clip of the surprisingly awesome Josh Groban and Omed Djalili on buzzcocks last year, then seek out episodes on your favorite internet video site for more.
I had high hopes for poker going into this Vegas trip. The stories I’d heard of easy fish (with money to burn) at certain tables in Vegas had me salivating a little, and my practice sessions prior to the trip had gone well. Unfortunately for me, things did not go according to plan and I took a series of bad losses that threatened to put me on the worst tilt of my poker life.
My first Vegas poker experience was perhaps not the ideal time to play. It was our first full day in the city and we started off with breakfast just off the strip at the Ellis Island Casino and Brewery. This little joint had been recommended for their off-menu $6.99 steak special, but our first visit was for a solid American breakfast. Chicken Fried Steak, Poached Eggs with Tabasco and some solid sourdough toast later I had my caloric intake for roughly a week and was ready for some action. Unfortunately for my heat-stroke susceptible self, it was unseasonably warm in Vegas for May. A long walk down Las Vegas Boulevard to the MGM grand, combined with a giant margarita meant that after the walk back I was feeling the onset of serious headache/nausea. Since I’d just spend $90usd on a ticket for KA, I figured I’d better fight it off and let the other boys start on the poker.
We are in the middle of a global economic recession. Though I certainly wasn’t in any doubt about it before, I had it systematically reinforced during my recent visit to Las Vegas. Things are bad in Sin City… and getting worse.
On the off chance that you needed further proof that Michael Jackson is creepy beyond all get out, here are several selections from a recent auction of property from his Neverland ranch near Santa Barbara California.
“I am the Lord thy Michael and thou shalt not have other gods besides me…”
Bubbles looks like he’s scared of Orbiter number 4 on the left. Hopefully he didn’t pee or MJ’s armor will rust.
Words escape me on this one, I’ll simply state that individual close ups make it even more terrifying, including the absolute worst:
Anyone who was around in the 80’s knew the Golden Girls, and like many Canadians around my age I probably saw every episode. The show’s syndicated run in Canada was one of the few things on after school that was for a bit more adult of an audience (these being the ancient days when basic cable was under 20 channels.)
Looking back I have a lot of fond memories of the show and of the four actresses in the lead roles. Much comedy was wrung from naïve Rose, man-crazy Blanche and irascible Sophia, but Bea Arthur’s Dorothy was the character that held the show together. Without Dorothy the show could easily have degenerated into one dimensional sillyness. Arthur was the consummate straight-woman and a gifted comedienne who had that all too rare ability to make the switch to pathos without it feeling totally contrived. (For a counter example see: Allen, Tim)
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It wasn’t until later in life that I saw any of her earlier series Maude on classic tv channels, but it was instantly clear that she brought the same skills to that role as well. I’m still amazed that they were able to have that frank of a discussion on abortion on network TV in that era. She was definitely a trailblazer for strong female characters on television (something we’re still not exactly swimming in.)
The post Golden Girls/Palace careers of the 4 women are rather varied…
Rue McClanahan seems to have taken minor parts in every crappy tv series and direct to video feature she could get. (Though I must say I enjoyed her as the blind biology teacher in Starship Troopers)
Estelle Getty died several years ago after developing a degenerative mental illness, but before that she did the terrible but oddly funny Stallone movie “Stop or my Mom will Shoot” and had a few other minor roles including a voice part in Duckman.
Betty White continues to be a perennial scene stealer. The foul mouthed granny egging on the giant gator in Lake Placid is a favorite as was her turn on Boston Legal and a recent guest star appearance on My Name is Earl as the witch lady. Her upcoming role in the new Sandra Bullock movie looks to be the only watchable thing in that inevitable crapfest. Her recent appearances on the new Pyramid show demonstrate that she’s as sharp as ever (ditto her great roast of Shatner).
Bea’s post GG career was a little more laid back, sticking to a few roles and some stage work. The highlight for me of course is her absolutely inspired turn as the fem-bot impersonating a fem-puter on the Futurama episode: Amazon Women in the Mood. Her voice acting is fantastic and based on the commentary the Futurama crew obviously loved her. The most recent thing I remember her from is a perfect example of her deadpan humour, sadly the AVclub beat me to the punch on this one but it really is perfect:
I’m guessing you have to totally cut yourself off from high school friends to pull this off
In 1994 I was a geeky 10th grader making his way through high school and trying to decide what to do with his life. I was on the verge of making some serious mistakes regarding romantic entanglements that would haunt the next 5-10 years of my life, I was coasting through school without having to make much of an effort and I was discovering the person that I would become. And on September 19, 1994a TV series premiered that would influence my life for the next 10 years… that series was ER.
